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She's always been noisy with everything but its really getting on my nerves. I blew up today and told her she had to stay out of our conversations unless she is asked. She has her own room and tv but won't leave without making sure we are going to bed. My husband has a shop to go to -- not me. She has to talk about people constantly --- I'm just tired of her already. How do I get past this. I knew this wouldn't be good, but she needed to be someplace. Could I right down "the rules of MY house" for her to understand when and what she can do.

I want to thank everyone for your helpful answers, they have helped me with a decision. She has no strength in her legs and has to use a walker, some drs think it is her polio coming again. Today she's aksing again when her appointment for physical therapy is (just had dr appt to get it set up). She thinks this is all she needs. Her mind is going and I asked the doctor yesterday if we could look at this. The doctor made an appt next month to do memory testing for me. My husband calmed me way down last night, by helping me clean out a room in the house. That's how i take out anger - clean! I must not get angry very much then, this house is a mess:)
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Reply to Terriiiiii
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You didn't mention what prompted her entrance into your home.

With no info, she sounds like she is recycling long ago behaviors, the way she interacted with children, whilst continuing her deplorable gossiping behaviors.

Since you mother is already infuriating your household. It might be best to find an assisted living facility, that admits Medicaid residents.
Submit a Medicaid application to find out if she qualifies, since each individual in the U.S. eventually will need Medicaid to pay for long-term care (LTC always drains assets,cash etc.)

In the meantime, remove yourself and all conversations from her area. If she can follow and remember written directions, then she knows what she is doing, and understands to stay out of conversations.

Gotta ask-->does she enjoy provoking you into angry reactions by doing things she knows will upset you? (while pretending to be clueless)?

Start prepping to get her admitted into a facility.
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Reply to Screennamed
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Perhaps it’s time to find a facility for your mother to live. My mother doesn’t live with me for all of the reasons you outlined above. She is 96 and lives alone in her home. I blew up at her a week ago on the phone. She called me back an hour later having a panic attack and couldn’t breathe and said to me “IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT !” She said it was my fault I yelled at her. That was a week ago. I called 911 for her and they called me back and said she was fine.

I sent my son over to talk to her for a couple of hours. As they get older, they get worse. I would suggest getting mom out of your house before you blow up at her and she screams it’s all your fault if she has trouble breathing!!!
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Reply to elaine1962
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All good suggestion from Alva.  You might also want to see if your local senior center has any activities she could attend, so she could talk to others there
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Reply to FloridaDD
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I don't think it is unreasonable to gently tell her that you need more alone time, that you are used to having your own time, your own peace. That you would like to be left alone during certain hours of the time. Ask her if there is anything you can put in her room that she might enjoy during some alone time you all deserve. As you say, your hubby has his shop. She might like a card table with puzzles? You don't mention if there is any dementia. If so, then rules would be more difficult to follow.
Do you have a room that you can make yours, whether bedroom or whatever, for you to read, sew, watch a program, listen to radio. A room you can make off limits unless an emergency?
You don't mention age, whether dementia or not.
It is also possible that you just cannot do inhome caregiving. We all have limitations. I know for myself that I could never do that. That is to think and discuss with your husband, for the future. There may need to be placement for Mom so that you can have your life back. Wishing you good luck. Hope you will update us.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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