She is not cooperating in any way. How do I go about getting her in a nursing home?

Follow
Share

I have health and financial POA. She's not taking treatments. Taking off for hours, I believe that she is drinking again. Smoking again. Has copd,heart disease,diabetes and cancer. Goes out to Sr center after getting out of hospital and was told by Drs to take it easy,stay home. she has become very defiant,missing Dr appts. she no longer wants me to take her to her appts because when she is not honest with her Dr's I tell them. She does not stay on the diet that has been given to her that i work so hard to make healthy meals for her she eats them but eats unhealthy in between and when I'm not here with her. She still drives witch I think she should not be able to do. She is titally shutting me and my husband out of her business. When I first moved in with her she wanted my help with her Dr's and her bills. Now she hides everything and complains when a bill doesnt seem right she called the cable co and was very rude to them when all she had to do was to let me handle it. They charged her for boxes she didn't have and when I told her that was the problem she freaked out on me telling me to mind my own business. She is running her oxygen without water and said the guy from open air told her to run it without water. I know that this is a lie because when we had a problem with water getting into the hose I called them and they suggested to change the filter and hoses if that didn't work they may have to send out another machine. She does not want me to call them. She has told me that it is non of my business. I am at my witts end and do not know what else to do for her.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
7

Answers

Show:
Sounds like you, your husband, and your family need to move out of her house. You really don't have much leverage living in her house.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Problem is she hides everything. I am not about tom let her burn the house down because she wants to smoke. She was sober for 10 yrs wth? I cant just watch her self destruct when my whole family is involved. My husband and I are also in sobriety and talk about wanting to drink ..but i have learned the hard way that there is never a good reason to drink or drug. God help us..I'm tired of being treated like a piece of crap. I should of never moved my family with her. She is acting like a child and doesn't want to be around anyone but her friends at the SR center, I think those old bitties are talking so much crap on there kids that don't care about them that she now regrets asking us for help. She is just looking for an argument and blames me for her hiding in her room. I do everything for her.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Kathy is right leave her alone. Just make sure all the bills are being paid and await further developements - and there will be some.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

She doesn't have dementia. Your POA doesn't go into effect until she does. If she wants to drink and smoke herself to death, that is her decision. You need to back off, and allow her to live her life. Maybe she just wants to refuse treatment and enjoy her life, rather than have an extended life full of everything she hates. When you become more accepting of her choices, she might except your help. You have to treat her as an adult, no matter how stupid it may seem to you.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

You need to have her declared incompetent by a Judge. Petition the court for Guardianship immediately. Legal fees will run about $3-4000 if there is no contest (meaning all siblings agree).
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Call her doctor and report what you are seeing. She clearly needs a higher level of care than you can provide at home.

If "something" happens and she gets taken to the ER, stand firm and refuse to take her home. Discharge planning will find a placement for her. When she complains, you tell her that she has a chance to work WITH you on finding a place she would like, but that the idea that she can be cared for you alone is now out of your hands.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

As her medical POA, you need to meet with her doctor to discus what is going on with her. She sounds like she needs to be seen by her doctor to be evaluated for dementia and see if the doctor will right an order for her to go to a nursing home. In the long run, you might have to file for guardianship in order to have her placed in a nursing home against her will. Please come back and let us know how things are going.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions