A little back story...
I moved in with my parents in 2008 to help take care of my dad after his leg amputation and bypasses. He recovered well and my mom's health declined. I helped take care of her up until she died 2 weeks ago. I know my dad is grieving. He has made 2 sexual advances towards me. I had to pack my 4yo twins up tonight and we are staying at my sister's for fear that he will do something more. My dad was never like this before. He has no mental diagnosis. He goes to the VA hospital. He needs help and I don't know where to go to get him help. He has his mind and I don't think he will willingly tell his doctor on his own that he needs help. Can anyone tell me where to begin?
Have your sister help you find a place for you and your children to live, and move out ASAP. Your dad will be fine on his own now, and hopefully he will get the help he desperately needs. But if he doesn't, make sure you and your children stay away from him. I am speaking to you as someone who was sexually abused by my father for many, many years, and my abuse started at age 5, so please protect not only yourself, but also your precious children. I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this, and for the loss of your mom. May God bless you and your family.
I agree, stay away. And tell him why.
As a teen I used to stay out of grabbing reach of certain friend's Dads. Especially if I saw a beer in their hand.
Can he stay by himself? If so, check on him by phone for now.
Or is he dependant on you for daily care? If so this will need to be escalated - as would any other circumstances of a vulnerable elder left alone if the main carer has left (due to emergency/other/safety issues).
It may be some sort of severe grief reaction, causing confusion. This would need medical assessment.
So sorry for the loss of your Mother.
I am so sorry for the loss of your mom.
Call his doctor. Get them to help but you don’t have to be near him.
Call his doctor on the phone and alert him to your father's new and inappropriate behavior. Then find somewhere else to live permanently that's safe for you and your young children.
Grief does not manifest itself in such behavior, but dementia may. He needs a cognitive evaluation at the very least, and a workup by a geriatric psychiatrist.
Please don't place yourself or your children in harm's way again in a heroic attempt to further care for your father. Do it from afar now.
My condolences on the loss of your mother.
Good luck