How do I get guardianship (from NY) over my Mother?

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I'm an only adult child. At first, I had POA; but my aunt(s) who have always resented my mother loving me so much; overrode my POA by making my aunt POA. They cut me off from her bank accounts, falsely accused me of using it all (mother and I helped one another) -- and in the meantime, convinced my mother that previous robbery of her money by OTHER POA's (not me) were all me.

My mother, beginning dementia, and already 83-years-old gets confused and making bad decisions. So, these relatives, while throwing me under the bus to other relatives (threatening me with elder abuse--when I had nothing to do with abuse of her money; again, we helped one another voluntarily), went behind my back and cut me off from all her financials. Which is wrong, as it is just Mom and me.

I want to take care of her. They did this after I had a caregiver set up and a new place, in her own rental. The relatives were upset that I was actually doing the right thing. Thus, they took over and moved my mother in with another aunt, because she "needed the money" for caregiving.

Today, my aunt told someone many lies about me, and asked my roommate to throw me out to the streets -- and force me to work at McDonald's, while she and my other aunt control all my mother's money.

Besides poisoning my mother's mind against her own and only child; I need to get guardianship of all my mother's affairs; so that my last years with her are not damaged by such hateful relatives. Relatives who'd like to see me on the streets and taking all my mother's money for their rent!

Do I need a lawyer in New York (where I live, and will move my mother here as soon as I can). Or do I contact a lawyer in Florida (where she resides at this time)?

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Hire an estate attorney.
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To override a POA or a DPOA requires that it be notarized by a notary public. The person must present a photo ID. My own Mother's photo ID was outdated, but luckily the NP was able to use her Commissioner of the Blind ID.
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First of all, @tooyoungforthis I have jobs! Yes, jobs, gigs as I am an entertainer, a performing artist. Thus, I have good months and hard ones. My work keeps me in NY. The only reason Mom is 1,500 miles away is because she wants to live there. She can make some decisions and does some things on her own.

Last time I could not oversee her financials -- Her previous POA stole over $8,000 from her! When I was overseeing them, no one stole a cent. Anything I got personally was with her permission.

My aunt had the bank card--Mom is legally blind--and I had one if needed. It was a working situation. There was no reason, whatsoever, to cut me off from access or to see what goes on, in the account. My mother made me POA and then my aunt, jealous of it, convinced my mother to override and make her POA.

So, it is not about me not wanting not willing to care for her. I had a place set up in NY for both of us, Mom said she did not want to leave Florida. And I do not want to give up my job(s) here where casting directors know me.
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My situation is similar, except my mother also has untreated depression, anxiety, and possibly a personality disorder. I must stand by and help me all I can, cooking, cleaning, errands, all of the grocery shopping, etc., while she makes extremely poor decision regarding land and money, and constantly criticizes my hair, my weight, my intellect and values. I am accused of everything under the sun, yet I nursed her back from near death twice in the last two years while constantly searching for a job in this depressed, small town in the South. She screams at me about using the dryer to dry clothes, does not want me to bathe or wash my clothes; hates my appearance; wants my 'services' for free. Last month she refused to help me with my $50, insurance premium, which I desperately need insurance for the chronic depression and thyroid problems I have-- the depression and anxiety resulting from the abuse from her from day one of my life up until now. She refuses any discussions about anything at all. Everything is her way or the road. I have no money and have applied to too many jobs to count in the past month. Our pastor had to speak with her so that I could keep my father's 15+ year-old car for transportation in case I did get a job. As far as my mother cares, I could rot in this house for the rest of my life with her screaming and hitting and abusing me for the rest of my life. She would NOT care or have any feelings about it. She is way past caring. I am an extremely caring and patient person and have worked as an Accountant for the past ten years. I am paying the price for every single thing my father and my brother put her through. They have both passed. Her undiagnosed mental illness destroyed our family. She is bitter about the fact that her family was destroyed, but will admit no connection that her own behaviour has driving all of us crazy and destroyed our relationships. God help us.
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I am not sure that an "elder law" attorney is the kind of attorney you need. I think in a situation like this, you need an attorney that is a litigator with experience in the types of issues you are having with your aunts. Many lawyers in New York are also admitted to the Florida bar, so that would avoid hiring 2 separate attorneys.

How did your aunts "over ride" your POA? They would have had to get your mother's permission----they can't "over ride" the POA on their own.

I would think that you would need 2 physicians to certify that your mother was not capable of making decisions on her own at the time the POA was changed due to dementia. Good luck with that if your mother's doctors are in Florida & you live in New York. Your mother would have had to write your name on the doctors' documents to release medical information to you. If your name is not on those papers, you will not get any information due to HIPAA regulations.

I am not sure how you wanted to "take care of her", but allegedly wanted to move her into her own rental with a caregiver. Of course her money would be used for a caregiver and her rent if she did not live with you. And, you taking her money for your expenses while she is not living with you and you not taking care of her is questionable. Perhaps your aunts think that you are taking your mother's money for your own expenses, which is what it sounds like & without your mother's consent, is not legal. "Forcing you" to work at McDonalds leads me to believe that you do not have another job or means of income other than your mother's money. Is there a written agreement that your mother would support you? It seems to me that your interest lies with your mother's bank accounts and not with taking care of your mother yourself. She lives in Florida; you live in New York. If she was not living with you, how did you "help each other"? Clearly, you were not caring for her when you live 1,500 miles away. If you want control of her money & bank accounts, get your own place, move her up with you & take care of her 24/7. That way, there would be no question about you "helping her" in exchange for her money.
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You need an experienced elder care attorney who can handle this issues. However, before you hire an attorney, make sure they have experience in complicated situations, like yours. You can't handle this yourself and you need legal advice and someone who can act on your behalf. Once you have an attorney, then you will have a better idea of what is possible and the cost of following through on your issues.
If you have modest means and your mother does as well, then you need to weigh your wishes against the potential costs of the legal action needed to achieve your goal of careing for your mother.
I am an only child and it is a tough position to have because there is no one to help you, especially in a dysfunctional family. Good luck.
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This is a very common story. You need lawyers in both Florida and New York and they do not work for free. Florida's laws I believe appoint a guardian whenever there is disagreement among relatives about POA. Then it gets real expensive. The guardian has a vested interest in keeping his/her job and will be paid out of your mother's funds. What started out as an idea to try and place a disinterested party to make decisions in these disputes has instead become a huge industry and basically an expensive mess with unintended circumstances. You would have to claim that your mother was not mentally capable when she decided to give her POA to your aunt. I am not intimitely familiar with Florida's laws but when we went through this in Arizona Mother was permitted to express her preference for where she wished to live even though she had diminished capabilities. Because she wanted to leave Arizona (she had previously said the opposite) and return to NY State eventually she was permitted to do so and my sister who had previuosly held her POA was given guardianship. But this two year process used up her entire modest estate of $230,000 in addition to thousands of dollars in lawyers fees paid by my sister and myself not from her estate. Between lawyers, guardians, homes and court fees there was nothing left to take care of Mom. She did get a few years to spend at my sister's home in the apartment that had been prepared for her all along before other siblings decided they wanted to be in charge. Good luck to you but unless you are wealthy and lucky you will not be able to succeed in getting your mom back to live under your control in New York even if you are innocent of the charges being leveled at you.
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