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My 88 year old mother was tricked by her abusive husband and son into approving them as Power of Attorney 5 years ago ( I was never informed of this until my mom had a stroke a few months ago). I have a restraining order against her son for felony assault and my father and brother are using my mother as a pawn to get me to again allow my brother access to the house he is forbidden to come near, which also happens to be my parent's home. My mother and I wanted my mother to live with me and I was to care for her at home. Because I refuse to allow my mentally ill brother access to the home, they stuck my mom in a nursing home. My brother also entered the home while I was away and strangeled my little dog (something I have seen him do multiple times before). Now my father and brother have had me served with an eviction notice to vacate my parent's house. Although I am concerned about where I will live since my income is severely limited, my main concern is that the two of them will force my mother to live with them in my parents house, something she has said repeatedly she does not want. I cannot afford $10,000 to hire an Elder Law attorney, so I have been trying to get DCF to help. Is there anything I can say that will help get priority attention for my mom's problem? When my father "cared" for his own mother at home, he diluted her I.V. so as to hasten her death and my brother has also assaulted my mother, something she did not want to report for fear he would go to prison. She need not have feared because he walked away from any charges for assaulting me with no consequences other than the restraining order. And if things again go his way, the restraining order will not have hurt him either because I will be forced to move so he can move back in. Thank you for any advice you may have to offer.

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Many thanks to you both for your advice and encouraging words. I took note of the questions you asked and will respond as soon as I get all the answers. A blessed New Year to all : 0 )
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This is very unfortunate. I am sorry to hear this. My wife and I had to pray to God for a year to help us find solutions to get my mother out of the abusive environment where my brother, who has never lived anywhere in 54 years but with my mom.
All he does is watch satellite tv all day, and if he has money and transportation, goes out and spends her money on a small amount of food, and the rest is a mystery. either drugs or women. he weighs 370 lb, and doesnt get her up till 2 pm each day to give her the meds she needs at 9am and 6 pm every day.
After praying to God for over a year, he finally was able to help us with a path that has got her to our home, but he calls wanting to know when she is coming home, cause some of the banks accounts cannot be accessed without him putting my mom on the phone first, and then she OK's the bank to talk to him on her behalf. she is still competent by the fact that she has not been yet declared in-competent. she thinks she has a good life with him and wants to go back home and live with him, and says she is a burden to my wife and I. yes, its been a huge burden, but i would never let her know that or tell her that. I am self employed, and missed a BUNCH of work to take care of her, and its ruining my business. Like I said, we just keep praying to God to help us, and in his own time he has. That is all I can say, as I know nothing about guardianship and stuff like that. My other sister who does not get along with my mom as POA and says she wont step in until my moms incompetent. she says until then that Mom is my problem and my loser brothers problem. Of coarse he has no job and takes her pension check every month and tries to dip into savings as well by getting her to tell the bank to act on his wishes based on her approval, because she doesnt know enough to know what he is doing. At this point I dont even worry about the money he is spending, just glad God answered our prayers to get her out of that place and here with us, but she still asks when she can go back home, but tells us she is having a wonderful time with us, but doesnt want to be a bother and she wont admit it, but she thinks she is taking care of my brother, and he needs her. It needs to be the other way around, and he needs to take care of her, and he does so little it has made me want to beat him into the ground at times. My wife is afraid I am going to hurt him every time I find out what he is doing that is bad on her behalf. At the same time, I try to help him by buying him a car so he can take her to the doctor, as we live 3 hours away, and now he just runs around most of the day with loser friends telling us, "oh, so in so needed a ride" so that is where i have been. so now the car we bought him to take her where she needs to go moves his drug addict friends around all day while he lets her either sleep all day or stickers her in front of the tv and leaves......... again, we prayed and prayed and God finally helped us get her to our home, now we just have to keep her here without her getting upset.
he called yesterday saying he had to have $700 dollars for some well issue has his junky rental house. My mom has paid for everything the past 20 years on that rental house while he collects the rent and spends it all and she pays to fix all the problems..........earlier this year is was 2500 dollars on a new well, then yesterday the underground tank was bad and he needs 700 dollars. Im tired of my mom having to pay for all his crap, while she hasnt spent any money on herself in years, and my wife have to buy her clothes cause she was raised in the depression and wont buy anything for herself.
again, sorry to rant about my problems, but Pray To God to help you. It worked for us, it just took a little longer than we wanted it to.......
best of luck and regards,
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Literally speaking, I don't think you can "just" stick someone in a NH. There has to be a reason to place someone. What reason have they used? Can you dispute that reason with physician reports?
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Continued: why didn't your mother tell you about giving them poa five years ago? You use the term "her son"...would that be your brother?
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Boy, I would have to think about any help I could offer. First, I would make a list of facts for ex: Abuse: Include date RO was issued and the reasons why it was issued Me and all the occasions dates etc then 2) elder abuse dates and things done to your mother by these two people dates if available etc; do not write sentances but rather bullet point for each category. then, current state of affairs dates etc, ie placing mom in a NH and why. At the top put in your mom's name, Dob and most recent diagnosis. Then, check every elder law attorney in your area, obtain their fax number, fax a copy of your document that you are drafting up and ask for pro bono help.
Guardianship is also very expensive.
Aging and adults services in your city/county i believe has attorney's at supposedly low fees. Keep working with DCF. If there is no diagnosis for your mom then why was she placed in a NH? Where are her social security checks going? Are these two people taking her money/checks. What/who is paying for the NH? Also in your document provide a bullet point history of your brother ex: mentally ill and strangling your dog and include diagnosis and history of your father. Is your mom of sound mind now such that she could revoke their poa and give poa to you? If so, this is the least expensive route. She has to be competent to do this however. A notary can come to the NH; usu it takes 2 witnesses, the ombudsman and a notary...every poa form is different. the ombudsman may not be of help to you since you do not have poa at this time. Forms for your state should be online. If your mom is of sound mind and can walk, I think you can complete such a poa form at her bank (check this all out first before acting so you do it correctly). My friend had poa for her boyfriend of 13 years. When he had a recent stroke and was in the NH his family came in (he was confused as ever) and had him sign a new medical poa and the ombudsman at the NH said he was competent but he was not. That is why I am thinking you could have your mom change her current poa. Do you have other relatives that can help and support you? If DCF can help you perhaps they can go to court on your behalf suggesting you be her provider and not them (whatever is in your mom's best interest). Who is buying her clothes, extras, shoes? The things families will do to their loved ones atonishes me...I did not grow up with this and so I am a late bloomer in recognizing these hideous people. I am so sorry you and your mother are going through this, esp her as it does not sound like she even belongs in a NH.
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