I am 19 and live in a small apartment. My great-grandmother wants to come live with me. How do I get a bigger place for us?

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JULIE / NAHEATON:

Great advice ladies! If it doesn't come out in the wash, it'll come out in the rinse ... or the lint. Plus, when you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Gotta go. Have a mountain of laundry to do.

-- ED
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Sounds like you are going to do this no matter what so the only thing I would say is to protect yourself agenst your grams children they may cause trouble for you after your grams passes. I mean be sure all you paper work is in order I know thats the last thing on your mind. but please be careful. best of luck to you your gram is very luck to have you
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Thank you so much for all your advice. Well i will tell her i need to be her POA. I guess ive held off on that because i dont want to fight with other family members about it. I know they care for her but i feel they care more for thereselves then for her, for instince i took care of my great aunt from age 8 to 14 by cleaning her house walking to the store to get groceries and anything alse i could do at that age then when she passes she left all her money to my grandparents and they spent it on a harley and stuff they dont even have to this day. Just dont want the same to happen to my great grandma.
@crowemagnum: i dont have a son just a step son and i will be starting up paralegal school again in spring eventually i hope to be a judge or an advocate for girls going through domestic violence. My current job is a caregiver. I take care of a 23 yr old with dissabilities. She has the brain of an 18 month old. She is an amazing girl and i love working with her and even though she has dissabilties she is healthy so my job is secure. I get a little over 50 hours a week. But i can always take her to my house and watch her so it doesnt really seem like work...Unless she's cranky :),,sorry if i forgot any of your other questions. I wasnt expecting this many responses just came across this website when i was googling about what to do. Thank you all for your support!
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Your sense of loyality is a wonderful thing indeed.Just don't underestimate those selfish people you were referring too.
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Chelsea, you have a great big heart and I admire that in a young woman your age. You have to remember that Grandma would have to pay ALL of her money out if she went into a nursing home facility, so telling her up front that you want her to live with you as much as she wants to live with you, but you will have to get a bigger place so she can have her own room and privacy if she needs it. You really should let her know that it will be a joint venture financially. The baby is going to need a room as well, so it sounds like you are going to need a 3 or 4 bedroom. What a blessing to her you are!
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Unless your great grandmother revokes those previously done POA's and gives them to you, you are sending yourself down river without a paddle!

Be prepared for WWIII to break out when you great grandmother decides to change those POA's. At 19 you will be up against two adults with means, experience, connections, possibly some education and they will put an enormous amount of pressure on you and your great grandmother which will probably attempt a divide and conquer triangulation approach.

You've mentioned your selfish family which I gather are your grandparents, but I've not heard how you are going to balance this with a fiance, a 2 year old and a step-son.

Are you in college? If so, how are you financing your college education and how are you providing for your immediate family's financial needs? If you are in college, what are you majoring in and what type of job are you hoping to get? If none of the above are true currently, then what type of job do you have, how secure is that position and can it realistically support the monetary needs of your immediate family plus the cost of taking care of your great grandmother.

Your heart is in the right place, but I'm concerned the realities of such a transition and then sustaining it will crush you into the pavement or to an early grave. All of this looks very bleak to me. 19 is far too young to be taking care of your parents, parents, mother.
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Chelsea, The only way this is going to work for you and your great grandma, is to have an open relationship and communication between the two of you. My mother-in-law who I help take care of always says the only thing she has is a little money, and she insists on pitching in whenever she can. She always buys gas for me, since I'm the one that takes her places, stuff like that. If your grandma wants to help you, then let her. Doesn't mean that you're taking advantage of her, that's not true and she knows it. But her generation is all about carrying their own weight, so you are telling her that her money is not important to you, which is also not true. Swallow your pride, let her help, but get your legal ducks in a row before you two make the move. Also, you and her should talk about the future when/if she needs more care than can give. What does she want to do when that happens? Open communication is key. Good luck.
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NO!! DO NOT DO IT. I JUST PUT MY MOM IN A ASSISTED LIVING HOME .I HADE THREE OTHER PEOPLE HELPING ME AND IT WAS TOO MUCH FOR ALL OF US! YOU WILL HAVE NO LIFE AT ALL.I KNOW YOU LOVE HER BUT SHE WILL BE MUCH HAPPPIER IN A ASSISTEDLIVING WITH PEOPLE HER OWN AGE AND THERE ARE SOME NICE ONES OUT THERE .I FOUND ONE.YOU REALLY ARE TO YOUNG TO TAKE ON THIS KIND OF RESPONSIBLITY. YOU HAVE A LIFE TO LIVE AND EXPERENCE GO OUT AND LIVE IT, YOU ARE ONLY YOUNG ONCE!
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Your heart is entirely in the right place. Most caregivers here in this forum have very little help from siblings or family...we do it because a loved one is in need.
Having said that, though, I agree with all the others above. You really do need to have your gma's PoAs in place even before she moves in with you. If she has a sudden illness, hospitals/doctors will ask for the medical PoA. You should also monitor her financial accounts, that is where a financial PoA comes into play. These papers protect your grandmother...you are not interferring with anyone else in the family because her will is the final document that divides assets.
Allow your grandmother to chip in with the rent, food, etc. You will be amazed at how much she will need such as medical equipment and other medical items....these things she should provide.
Caring for a senior is not the same as caring for a child. A senior's health will continue to decline and it is very stressful dealing with everything that comes with it.
Bless you for loving your grandmother so much that you are willing to take on this responsibility at such a young age. Just try to set emotion aside a bit and prepare as much as you can in advance. Also, there are all these great sub-headings on this site that have loads of information from experienced people. I have used these often.
Good luck...let us know how it is going.
Lilli
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Is your great grandma still competent to make her own decisions? If so, she can revoke the POA she did previously and give it to you. I'm not suggesting this so you can have her money. It is so you can make sure she is taken care of the way she should be. If you can't help her with the money and health care decisions later on, others may decide not to spend money on things she needs out of a selfish desire to protect their own inheiritance.

Also, you can't apploy for help, fill out papers, etc. without the POA. My mom recently had money withdrawn from her checking account by a gov't agency that should not have taken it. We couldn't do anything about it until we sent the POA papers. (Luckily, it was resolved quickly and painlessly.)
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