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Had told me some years back that she had a life insurance policy but I was called out the other day on Facebook and told I was a money hungry b**ch. I loved my mom, if I feel so wrong just for trying to find out if my mom left me and my brothers something should I just set back and let this woman have everything? Can I find out if there is life insurance? I only know my moms birthdate and name.

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Sherrybaby I'm sorry to fire questions at you, but the simple route here is through your mother's wife - widow, I guess - and it's a matter of how to get her to calm down and give a civil answer to a reasonable question.

So, your mother died just over six months ago; not very long, but certainly long enough for anyone in charge of her affairs to have at least begun to settle them.

Asking what instructions she, your mother, gave is not rude, not unreasonable, and not "grabby" (as my mother would've called it). You should proceed on the assumption that it is FINE to ask.

Having said that, you also want to make allowances for people's feelings; so here go the questions. How long were they married? How did you and your brothers get on with your stepmother, were you even on the right sort of terms to think of her as your stepmother? What happened to your mother? - what did your stepmother go through, might she still be feeling very raw?

The Facebook incident you must brush aside. A reasonable question, courteously asked, does not deserve an insult in return. And asking what happened to your mother's estate - even if her "estate" amounted to nothing more than an old teddy bear and a typewriter - is very much a reasonable question.

So stay calm but stick to your guns in a low key way. You're not demanding cash. You're asking what happened. Do it nicely, and it's fine.
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EVERYBODY should be checking GOVERNMENT “found money” sources for the names of loved ones. Google “unclaimed funds” DOT ORG. We have collected MANY TIMES through this service and it’s at no cost to the recipient.

Don’t Use any that are dot coms.
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October 2018
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When did your mother pass away? I'm very sorry for your loss.
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When it comes to insurance policies, they will of course tell you ur the beneficiary and they will tell u your not. They won't tell u who is.

As a beneficiary its your money. You are not obligated to pay for the policy holders funeral or debts. Had this happen to a friend. Her daughter was beneficiary to her policy. When she passed, daughter refused to pay for the funeral. It was a 100k policy. Also, you may not have to pay taxes depending on your state.
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If your Moms life insurance was though her place of employment when she retired, you could possibly try their benefits center. You would need her SS number as well. I don’t recall having to give much information to my moms past employers benefit center...they looked up her account and just took a few days to verify I was the beneficiary on the policy.
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The way it worked with my MILs employer-provided policy, they could not tell us anything current when she died. Reason being, they didn’t have that information. When her employment ended, so did the life insurance policy UNLESS she chose to purchase the policy. They could tell us that one point she did have a policy but as far as if she still had, they had no way to know that. We had to call the insurance co to verify she hadn’t purchased the policy after she retired.
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I believe you can check probate courts to see if a will has been filed. Also, if there is a trust and the wife is the trustee she owe a fiduciary duty to any beneficiaries. See an elder care attorney. Well worth an hour of time.
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For life insurance you don’t need to contact an attorney. You can pay for a service that tracks down life insurance policies BUT you will need more than a name and date of birth. We used one of these services when my MIL died and her partner insisted there was a life insurance policy somewhere out there. They charged a small fee. It’s been 11 months and no policy has been found.
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I'm no expert, but, I would consult with an attorney if you want to get all the options in your jurisdiction. You can also check the Estates division of clerk of court in her county to see if any Will filed for safekeeping or for probate. Find out about which heirs inherit, if no will and spouse survives. You should receive notice, but, not sure. Keep your eyes on newspaper legal publications in case probate is opened, later on, once again, as family member you should get written notice, but, you never know. Also, you might contact the state's Department of Insurance. Sometimes, they have ways to check on insurance policies for deceased citizens.
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This is a good question.

i am going to post a new topic on this. See what people think.
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If you were listed as a beneficiary on a policy the insurance company would not be able to pay out to anyone but you. And if your mother did list you when she took out the policy she could have changed it later on and the insurance company is under no obligation to inform you.
If you were mentioned in any Will the executor would have to contact you. Wills have to be filed so you could try to obtain that information to determine what was in the Will.
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