As awful as it sounds, I'm considering doing an "ER dump" :(
Grandma lives alone in NY state. She is 83 and we do not know her finances. She is refusing help at home, and it's not safe for her to be home anymore without any help. It's been several months of outright playing games and her refusing home aides, volunteer shoppers, and doctor appointments. No one thinks she should be at home without help. She has an APS social worker, but this has not been very helpful lately. The neighbor, Maureen, might have been given proxy. Maureen agrees that she cannot remain at home without help, and we are trying to make a plan. She cannot move in with anyone.
How do I do an "ER dump"? What do I need to know?
Should we wait until she is having a "bad day", is ranting, undressed, and unwashed, and has allowed herself to be completely out of food, and then call for a welfare check... and just hope they transport her to the hospital? Will they?
Do we need to wait until she falls again and is transported to the hospital, or can we instead have someone drive her to the ER for one of her many legitimate medical complaints?
If she is transported to the hospital, does she actually need to be admitted? Or at this point can we just say that no one is able to come back and pick her up, and she is not safe at home alone ("unsafe discharge"?)
Would the hospital arrange for transportation for her to get home? Will they allow her to get in a taxi?
Once she is at the hospital and everyone refuses to pick her up, then what happens...?
Thank you all. I'm sure this is a difficult and controversial topic, but I would greatly appreciate any personal experience, "how to" advice, or other information. I'm so exhausted and heartbroken. I think we either do this now, or all go crazy until she really injures herself and this happens anyway in one way or another in a few weeks or months.