Aunty is coming home from NH rehab in 2 days!! How do I deal with this upcoming stress?

was it a total hip replacement? It doesn't sound like it was if she is still bedridden. If they put bolts in her hip, she will most likely need another surgery before a year passes, and the 2nd surgery will be a total hip replacement. If they put bolts in, the amount of care that will be required of you will be UNBELIEVABLE. You will be so tired, you'll begin to wonder if you are better off dead than alive. Then just when you begin to catch your breath, you begin to see straight for a day or two, the bolts will fail and she'll need a 2nd surgery, and you haven't recovered from the 1st surgery. Being a caregiver has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do and I am in my mid-50's. I would have her remain in the re-hab center for at least 9 or 10 months before coming home. If the bolts are still ok in 9 or 10 months, you may not need a 2nd surgery right away.

I should probably add a bit, since my above post is rather dramatic. I'm a sole caregiver and I work full-time. I strongly urge you to have your aunty remain in the rehab-center for 9 to 10 months.

Wow Zoes, That was an incredible, insightful and thoughtful answer. Nine years is a long, long time! You are the one who has earned God's blessings. You will never get paid in dollars, but you have done incredible work. Now, leave the past, and dream of the future. This time you can walk freely, without the weight of another person's life and well-being dependent on you. You deserve it, now go out there and find your own happiness, have fun, watch the sunset, play music and dance!!!!! Love, Julie

So sorry. I have had Mom eight months and I can't imagine doing this for a long period of time. I'm 65 and just don't have the strength to do more than I'm doing. I had been taking care of Grandson fulltime just before we had to take Mom in. Had put my life on hold till h got old enough for daycare. I have had nephew and daughter watch Mom for few hours so DH and I can get out. As soon as house is sold I will be looking into AL facilities. Not fair that we have to give up and my brothers just go on with their lives.