How do I deal with my wealthy female client who berates me and criticizes me constantly?

Money can't buy this woman class, obviously, but it's managed to get her a heavy duty housecleaner for the hourly cost of a companion. Pretty shrewd, huh? 🙄 And her insulting and condescending personality type is what GETS her the great deals, she's learned over the years. People tend to be cowed by hags like this and will agree to ANYTHING to get her to shut up.

Quit right away or start billing her accordingly which should lead to you being fired.

Best of luck

She is not a 'companion case" if your doing heavy cleaning. Thats not your job. You job is light housekeeping. That would be dusting and running a vacuum. Doing dishes, washing clothes. Maybe mop a floor. If she wants closets cleaned out and floors scrubbed, she hires a cleaning lady. Read up on "grey rock method". Learn to ignore. And learn to stand up for yourself. I have left jobs because I felt I was being used or not respected. You need to tell her what a HHAs duties are. If you want to tear out her closets, thats OK but when she gets started, tell her that you are doing her a favor, itscreally not ur job.

Here's what ur duties are in PA
"Supports patients by providing housekeeping and laundry services, shopping for food and other household requirements, preparing and serving meals and snacks, and running errands. Assists patients by providing personal services, such as, bathing, dressing, and grooming."

Housekeeping does not mean heavy cleaning.

Quit. The world is FULL of jobs for caregivers at this time.
If, however, this is basically an "easy" job in which you are paying to be a companion and a whipping post, then do the job and go home at quitting job with your pockets full of money.
You can also demand a raise that will make it worth it or quit.
I don't see the problem here; that is to say this would be an easy decision for me. I would level with the person:
A) I want a raise. This is my new hourly wage. If not I give you one month notice.
B) I expect there to be limits on your verbal abuse. For a month I will merely respond that you are overstepping your limits. At the end of that month I will give you notice, and you will be paying to abuse someone else.
People like this have no respect whatsoever for people without a backbone. They are basically schoolyard bullies who pick on the weak.
I wish you luck.

Let me ask you a question - you say that she scolds you and makes you feel like an incompetent fool.

What if the tables were turned and instead she was using racial slurs or derogatory insults or being otherwise verbally abusive in some other way? Would that make a difference? If she wasn't directly insulting your work and making you feel bad about the way you do your work but was instead directly insulting something about you as a person? Or this was a male client and they were sexually harassing you? Or even a female client sexually harassing you? Would the type of behavior or the type of insults make a difference? Meaning - things that in most workplaces employees are protected from and are grounds for reporting to HR.


My point being - some people think they can get away with their behavior because they get away with their behavior all the time. And unfortunately those same people are rarely called out or even educated that they should not behave that way. Additionally - you don't deserve to be treated that way. It doesn't matter if she is wealthy. It doesn't matter if you work for her. It doesn't matter - none of that does.

What matters is that you have a working agreement. And that means that you should be be treating each other with respect and dignity. It sounds to me as if you are actually doing tasks that are outside of your job description anyway. I would be looking for another position. And in the meantime - I would respectfully say to her "I don't appreciate the way you are speaking to me. I'm going to walk away and when you are prepared to talk to me as your companion we can try this again".

I'm sure you need the money (after all don't we all). BUT start looking for another job as soon as possible (yesterday would have been good). Then quit. No need to stay in an abusive relationship/work situation. You are hired to be a companion, then so be it, but you're not hired to "rip apart closets" nor are you there to be verbally abused.

Why do you remain working for such a person and why do you not stand up for yourself?
I was an in-home caregiver for 25 years. There were many abusive clients (and their families) in that time. I would not hesitate to put a client like yours promptly in her place.
You NEVER tolerate ANY form of abuse from a client or their family. It doesn't matter what they're paying you. This means "scolding" you like you're a child or knit-picking. It's also time to renegotiate what your job and pay is. If you were hired to be only a companion you do not clean or do chore duty. You do companionship.
Go to work. Do not clean anything or do any domestic work until your job duties and pay has been renegotiated.
If the client starts up in any way with you, look her in the eyes and speak loud and plainly. Tell her you will not tolerate her abusive behavior. That you are an adult and she will damn well treat you with respect. Make sure she knows that if you leave her service, you will never come back or even speak to her again.
Then go to the kitchen, make yourself a cup of coffee, and sit on down. Let her fume and scream for a while. Ignore her. After you've finished your coffee ask her if she's done having a tantrum like a spoiled little brat because they two of you need to talk.
I've had to do exactly this more than a few times with clients like this. I've left positions too and you may have to also.
I made one exception in 25 years after leaving a client's service. If you're planning on staying in this line of work, you're going to have to toughen up. You may love caregiving, but it comes with all kinds of abuse. You must learn how not to tolerate abusive behavior.
I'll let you in on the most important rule a caregiver must keep.
You (the caregiver) must be in control of every situation. In control of yourself and the client. When a tantrum is starting, or a fight being picked, or the client is in the mood to lash out, you have to shut that down. Walk away if you have to.
I had a lot of verbal abuse and bullying, when I was younger. It made me feel worthless.
I'm going to tell you what my husband told me early in our relationship.
You are a rare woman wirh a value high above rubies.
So are you. Have that fiance of yours get you a nice ruby so you'll be reminded.
Never let anyone berate and bully you.

Quit, your emotional health is more important, she will find someone else to berate.

She is a toxic person, that is the bottom line.

The word *wealthy* jumped out at me. Does it matter if the client is wealthy or not?
If she was not, would you take this attitude?

It's ok to state what your job is & what it is not. To state what you require in terms of manners in order to have a good working condition too.

Your client may be testing you out. Seeing how far she can go. When you stand up for yourself, she will probably smile, nod & you will have gained her respect.

Or maybe she is bored, depressed, in pain. Whatever her reason, you can ask for a better deal. If she declines to change, you can, by looking for a new job.

Think of this as a test. In the caring line of work there will be many difficult personalities. It takes time & practice to build your toolbox of skills to deal with them. I find honesty & humour help a lot. Good luck!

Get another job.

Quit and find a new job.