My father is 98 and really only recently is his dementia reaching levels that leave him angry and my siblings at a loss. He want's to "go to the bank" which was an outing he used to enjoy. But since he's been in a wheel chair it's harder as we have to order special transportation. He wants $5,000 in part to have money on hand and in part to gift the care givers money (which the agency specifically states they cannot accept). We have tried distracting or telling him tomorrow, but it's something he is adamant about. I don't know if he will be able to count the money - but I'm sure it will end up bad. He goes from loving his care givers to accusing them of stealing. He liked having money in his pocket, when he was the guy in charge. I understand his feeling powerless and vulnerable. going to the bank and visiting the tellers and the security guard is really a pleasure for him. But not sure how to handle him asking the teller for $5,000 cash. My two oldest siblings have a POA, but I don't think he has any restriction of what he can do. Up to now, we have counted on him forgetting the request, but it's getting harder as he's getting insistent and angry. He can't talk about anything else. Any help is welcome. His dementia has gotten significantly worse since my mom has been in hospital. We are all at the end of our ropes.
Ask Dad WHY he wants to GIFT his caregivers?
Does he want to thank them?
Show his appreciation?
Show how much he values them?
Money just a token afterall. A token used for exchange. What he may want to gift may not cost a dime.
Holding someone's hand, looking them in the eye & saying a heartfelt THANK YOU can be the most glorious of gift to bestow & also receive.
As to anger, let him get angry as he wants. There's nothing to be done about that and it's unlikely to kill him.
If he doesn't recognize currency you could give him monopoly money.
Does he understand that he WILL get his caregivers fired for taking money?
Can you tell him he just got 5k last week and has to wait for a month to get more? Make sure he has proof by having some cash to prove he already gifted them?
Getting creative when dealing with an obsession is the only way I know to deal with it.