My mother is 74, recently lost my dad a year ago, moved to a senior living apartment and has rapidly progressed in her dementia since then. I want to help her but she calls me daily to tell me who all is doing her wrong, lying to her, stealing from her, stalking her, etc., etc. It is impossible to redirect the conversation for long. My sister in law is a geriatric nurse, lives close by and helps her with a lot of things. My mom tells each of us outlandish stories about each other, asks us not to tell the other and then worries sick that we have talked. After visiting her on Easter, she called me and was so furious she was hyperventilating. She said she could not find her medication and money and was convinced I stole it. No amount of reasoning with her worked. She told me she would call the police, slander me on social media, call CPS and tell them I am a "drug addict thief" so they will take my children, etc., etc. She was completely out of her mind. My sister in law then went to her house and found her medicine in her car. My mom swears I must have driven 2 hours to her house, broken into her car and put it back there. She called me 2 weeks later and apologized and said "someone else must have stolen it." She has told everyone that my husband is a "pervert" and that I steal from her. She tells everyone my brother stole her will to try to have it changed. She tells my brother outlandish things about me, then calls me and tells me HE said it. When I don't call her for a while, she calls me crying and says she misses me then I feel guilty. She says she is lonely and that I have always been her only true friend. This is my first time dealing with this and I am not sure how much is dementia, how much is mental illness, how much is delusional or conscious lies. I just don't know what to think. I hate talking to her without a witness anymore and I am so tired of the daily calls with the paranoid ideations. Earlier in the year when she accused me of stealing, I got very sick with an inflamed colon, which I have never had before. I am convinced it was from the stress. I have 3 small children and a full time job and just can't be there the way she expects. When I see people we both know, I always wonder what slanderous things she has told them about me and pray they don't believe it. I dread the phone calls and yet feel so guilty when she cries, says she misses me and that I am her only friend. I also don't want any regrets about what I should have done or how I should have responded. Has anyone else been through this and have any advice? I am finding it so hard to detach myself emotionally from this enough to not be hurt by all the lies. She has suffered from mental illness for years but it's like the dementia is exacerbating it all.