My mother is 83. Released into my care out of the psychiatric ward because she tried to overdose on her prescribed medications. She has had mental illness her whole life. Im in the process of getting her into assisted living. Our relationship has not been the best over the years since I was young. Her negative attitude and just demeanor in general is wearing on me. The constant criticism and lack of appreciation is making it hard to keep my patience. I know her life is uprooted but just her not considering that mine is too is very difficult for me.
I hope you are successful in finding a suitable placement for her soon.
Until then, everyone here has already offered good advice for preserving your sanity.
If she ends up in the hospital for any reason, You do not have to take her home.
If the hospital staff tries to pressure you into taking her, be very clear with them that you are not able to care for her condition and she needs to be transferred to a care facility.
Dealing with someone else's untreated mental health issues is very draining and sometimes the only sane thing to do for yourself is to cut them off or keep them at arm's length. It is very sad when someone isn't willing or able to help themselves and we have very few ways to force them to get help. I think that might be for the best overall, as hard as that is to hear.
Wear the Iphone earbuds and listen to music when you are around her. I'm not tech savvy and just got this going. Wear the white ones and just act like you can't hear her.
If you have to pay someone to sit with her temporarily it would be worth it.
We have schizophrenia and bipolar in our family so I know it is rough.
Dr. Laura has an expression: Not everything can be fixed. Some things are without an answer. I am afraid this is something you have likely learned the hard way over time.
Best we can do is tell you how sorry we are you are going through this. I surely wish you the best of luck. While Ms Scheier's book won't have answers for you, it will perhaps make you feel less alone. I home you join support groups for those dealing with mentally ill family members.
I'm so sorry for this distressing situation and blessings to you for helping her when she doesn't even appreciate it.
Good luck.