How do I deal with my lonely, clingy, scared and single sister who is hospitalized for 30+ days?

I was telling my husband about this post. Hospitals are not his favorite place and he said 12 hours is too much. When I told him I would do it for him he said he would be sending me home way before then. 😁

I have been sort of (different medical issues) that sister in the bed. It IS terrifying and that's what sister's are for, but of course you must take car of you as well so you can continue being there. Are there any funds available to hire someone to privately be with her? I know COVID messes everything up in so many ways but perhaps a special plan might be generated with the MD in charge of her care. Also wondering about exceptions....if you explain the problems YOU are having as well as the impact. If you can learn of her friends and they are willing maybe shifts can be set up? Not seeing people, not feeling cared for (and I don't give a S about her being surrounded by caregivers. That is SO not the same as family and friends.). It is bad enough to be ill, but to feel all alone....it's just so rough in ways I can't describe though I did experience. Hopefully she gets out of there soon, but beware the rehabs which have engaged strict restrictions as well. Getting her home may be the best option (just a thought). I lasted about 2 weeks in rehab and with the revolting food and uncaring staff, I announced my departure and I was right! I did far better at home.

She clearly is very very ill. You can know this by the fact she is still hospitalized after all this time. But the truth is that your sister is now SURROUNDED by caregivers. You cannot risk yourself to do what you are doing. You will need now to sit with her and tell her "I know that you are lonely and I know you are very ill and I know you are frightened. But I can't continue to come to this extent. I am so sorry, but I have just bumped up against my own limitations. It will do neither of us any good if I become ill and unable to come visit at ALL. So this is what I can do______________________." Complete sentence with your own words as to how often and for how long you can come. I am so sorry she is so critically ill. We all tend to become clingy children when we are frightened, and your Sis is very frightened and with good reason. There's no good answer here, only sadness and grief. I sure wish you both luck and hope she improves. I hope you will let us know how it is going for you. Expect tears. There are many things in life that are worthy of our tears.

I do feel for your sister. Just being in a hospital for a couple of days would depress me. But the only person I may spend 11/12 hours with in a hospital is my husband. And that would mainly be because he is almost deaf. Those chairs they offer visitors I would not want to sit in for that long.

"She can’t call me direct because I have long distance phone. " I read this and read this not understanding what you meant. Then it dawned on me, your sister can only make local calls from the Hospital phone and you have an out of state area code number.

I would inform your sister and the others that I will be putting my phone on Do Not Disturb once I leave the hospital. I will call her just before I leave brothers house to see if she needs anything.

You need to kindly tell your sister that u need your sleep. That its not fair after spending all day with her, that she is not allowing you to have your evenings to yourself and getting a good nights sleep. I personally could not spend all day sitting in a hospital trying to entertain someone. Neither would I be there first thing in the morning. Maybe mid morning. ( for me more like after lunch. I am not a morning person). When they serve lunch, take a break in the cafeteria. Then stay till dinner is served. You don't need to stay 12 hrs.

Seems there is other family just you are the one who is not working. So she is not alone. They must visit when they can. She has a phone so she can call friends. She can read, watch TV, play on a tablet or laptop. I know its hard on her and lonely but I would think you need to go back to ur home sometime. Do you plan on staying for her hospital stay and rehab? If so, you need to set boundries now or you aren't going to be able to do it longterm.

See if the hospital has a social worker, psychologist and a chaplain and see if they can get involved. Next time you are with her ask if she has any other friends or neighbors (or church, faith community) and contact them. Encourage the family members to text her videos of well-wishes (or create a private YouTube channel and post them there for her to access, or encourage them to send cards, letters, kid art, etc. You are doing a noble and merciful thing for your sister, who seems to be alone in the world. You aren't wrong in feeling how you do, and maybe she is terrified of being dependent or disabled after her rehab, or of dying. This is why it may be helpful to contact a staff psychologist or chaplain.

Does your sister also have a financial PoA? And a Living Will? If not, these should also be put into place by her. The hospital has on-staff notaries, if needed. I wish you extra emotional strength and peace in your heart as you try to help her the best you can.