Have you talked to the VA about a Homemaker Health Aid I think that is the term. They will pay for a certain number of hours so you can get out. That should help you a bit. Also have you talked to the Social Worker? they might be able to get more help or possibly help bump the appointment. If this is stressing you out this much they will do everything they can to help out. You might also want to check into a program I had here a while back through the VA called VIP (think it stood for Veterans in Place) the idea is they want to keep veterans at home this program will allow you to hire caregivers and the program pays for them and you have to pick 2 other things that will help so for me it was lawn care and housekeeping. They will have someone come in to evaluate him and a budget is determined by how much help is needed. I know my Husbands primary would not prescribe further unless he saw the psychiatrist just as we got to that appointment my Husband fell and broke his hip so we never made that appointment. My Husband actually had kind of the opposite "problem" he was non verbal but made noises, a constant moaning. Funny thing..I miss that noise now!
Yes the drs know. His insurance is VA. They wont give him anything stronger than quietiapine and a sleeper that dont work everyday. Hes also on gabapentin. I'm trying to bump up his dr appt so I dont have to wait until Sept.
This would drive me nuts... I absolutely need quiet time in my house, without even music or tv going. He sounds very agitated. Have you talked to the doctor about this? Does he act that way in front of the doctor? Is he on any meds to help calm him down? Do you have any caregiver help so you can escape daily for a while?
Hi Jill, I think some sort of med is needed to slow his brain down. Does he enjoy music, tv, books on audio? My Mom can’t follow tv too much anymore and is slowing down on reading significantly as she progresses but she does like the classic country music channel on tv where they also posts facts and tidbits about the artist as they perform. Good luck finding a way to rest your ears and keep your sanity.
I second ear plugs, back in my child care days they saved my sanity. Just try the spongy kind you get at the drug store, they don't block out everything but just turn down the volume.
I have earplugs. When he thinks I cant hear him he gets right in front of me, bends down, looks me right in the eyes and will stand there and stare at me until I answer .
My husband chooses 5 AM, when I get up, to be very conversational. Unfortunately, he mumbles and since my ears aren’t “awake” yet I have a hard time understanding him.
I don’t hang on his every word or feel I need to reply to him every time he says something. Sometimes he’s satisfied with a slightly distracted “umm-hmm”. After 45 years of marriage, it works out ok. He listens to me babble too!
I could see how that can get under your skin. My mom is no where near that stage but still her level of wanting to talk is WAY more than mine which makes it challenging for me.
Does he demand answers? Or can you just ignore him when you prefer not to interact?
Do you have any caregivers to let you get away from the noise?
Ear plugs? I can't imagine how annoying it must be. Relief of some sort is essential for you. I need a few hours of silence a day, either out of the house, or up when no one else is. Luckily, my aunt was very quiet. She talked a lot only when she had a UTI. Best stories I ever heard from her then, like her nursing friend in the Army Nursing Corps who married a computer.
Good luck finding your solution, either time away for you, or a placement for him.
Thank you! There's GOT to be something that can be done. I used to be able to get about 3hrs of silence in the morning before he woke up. Not anymore. Its exhausting.
Also have you talked to the Social Worker? they might be able to get more help or possibly help bump the appointment. If this is stressing you out this much they will do everything they can to help out.
You might also want to check into a program I had here a while back through the VA called VIP (think it stood for Veterans in Place) the idea is they want to keep veterans at home this program will allow you to hire caregivers and the program pays for them and you have to pick 2 other things that will help so for me it was lawn care and housekeeping. They will have someone come in to evaluate him and a budget is determined by how much help is needed.
I know my Husbands primary would not prescribe further unless he saw the psychiatrist just as we got to that appointment my Husband fell and broke his hip so we never made that appointment. My Husband actually had kind of the opposite "problem" he was non verbal but made noises, a constant moaning. Funny thing..I miss that noise now!
I don’t hang on his every word or feel I need to reply to him every time he says something. Sometimes he’s satisfied with a slightly distracted “umm-hmm”. After 45 years of marriage, it works out ok. He listens to me babble too!
Does he demand answers? Or can you just ignore him when you prefer not to interact?
Do you have any caregivers to let you get away from the noise?
Good luck finding your solution, either time away for you, or a placement for him.