My 81-year-old Mother-in-Law (MIL) unexpectedly needed to have live-in care starting two years ago when she became a widow suffering injury in an auto accident that took her husband's life. She is mobile and uses a walker when not stubborn about it. She suffered a brain injury that has left her with anxiety and easily becomes exhausted making it difficult for her to do things for herself such as laundry/cook/clean/bathe without assistance. She is fully cognitive making her own decisions about how she spends her money and her activities, socializing, and travel. She loves her home and does not want to live in it alone or live in an Assisted Living facility. She has investments totaling a high six-figure, no debt, owns her home plus an additional house outright that she had bought for her own mother and kept after her mother’s death. She has no debt and her monthly income including pension and social security is approximately $3,000. She has good supplemental health insurance coverage. There are 3 siblings of which my husband is the eldest. All are married and financially stable. One sibling works intermittently and lives 5 mins away and is POA due to business needs related to the accident and was already selected as parent's estate executer. The other sibling is retired living 40 mins away and appointed by POA to coordinate MIL’s health care. My husband works a full-time physically demanding job M-F and has two years until retirement. MIL hires a caregiver to provide 40 hours of care Mon-Thur. My husband is the caregiver all other hours night/day and I help him. At first, we took turns while still living in our home 5 mins away and we barely saw each other and we both had full-time jobs. At MIL’s invitation, we moved in. We rent out our mortgaged home and will not sell because we need it to go back to in the future. The siblings had us sign a roommate agreement with MIL to pay 2/3 the monthly utilities and MIL did not want us to pay rent. The agreement can only be terminated by us or MIL. We insisted on and do pay all food costs including a weekly dinner out (in-laws ate out once a week). We accepted that the siblings will enter and the house as they please and we would have no private area other than our bedroom. After a year, the siblings demanded we pay rent and gave us a formal letter containing a rental contract and a threat of eviction if we did not sign it. They did not mention what they would do about MIL’s care. MIL did not know about this demand. We had to hire a lawyer since they would not accept their action as illegal due to the fact of the already signed roommate agreement. The irony is not lost on me that one sibling lives rent-free in the other house owned by MIL at the invitation of in-laws prior to accident and therefore not anything we give concern to. They insisted they pay the yearly real estate tax which is about half the cost of what we pay yearly on food costs for my MIL alone. MIL told siblings she does not want us to pay her real estate taxes because it is her home and we pay on ours. Both siblings have now stated that I should have no priorities outside of MIL’s needs because we live “for free” in her home - neither sibling seems to value what my husband and I do for MIL including general maintenance of her home and that her needs never go unmet by us. Recently, I visited my own mother who lives out of town. MIL decided that instead of finding family to cover on the Friday, a workday for my husband, she would hire the caregiver who had offered to work. My husband, after working several days in a row during a heat-wave, had to take a sick day due to exhaustion (he’s 60yrs old). Once the siblings learned of this, they informed my husband he should have told the caregiver not to come in. I don’t get it, my husband was exhausted and felt he was unsafe to work, so why would his siblings think he would have been safe to care for their mom that day? Subsequently, we received a written demand from the siblings stating that, in the future, my husband and I will have to pay for any care hired to aid MIL if it is outside the weekly 40 hours, but if my husband stayed home sick during the 40 hours, we will not have to pay. Everyone is smilingly polite in MIL’s presence, but my husband and I know that what we say and do is being scrutinized. No one yells at or name calls but there is an atmosphere of cordial hostility when not in MIL’s presence. We just want to provide this care for as long as it works well for my MIL’s needs or she decides she wants something different for herself. MIL has made a point to thank my husband and me for what we do and said to us that she knows it is not easy to take care of a parent (she and her husband did the same with their parents). MIL does not know about this recent demand by the siblings. If she did, I think she would be very unhappy, but we are hesitant to tell her even though I believe she is the only one who can stop the bullying. Any suggestions?