My mother is 66 years old and is not in good health. She has deteriorated rapidly over the last 2 years, going from someone who could easily walk up and down stairs with groceries to someone who cannot even walk through her house without using a walker. On top of it all, she suffers from depression and has never been easy to deal with. While she was living with us, she inserted herself in my marriage, how my husband and I were raising our children, how I dressed, etc. It became too much for me and I started to dislike her and resent what she had done to the relationships in my household. My mother and I had always been close, but she was now expecting me to give her all of my attention, would make nasty comments to and about my husband and children (HER GRANDCHILDREN) and then play the victim card whenever I would finally have enough. She would start to cry, apologize, and then I would feel horrible for getting upset, only for the same thing to happen the next day. She lived in our house with us until a few months ago when it got to a point that she could no longer walk up and down our stairs (inside or outside) safely, and I was completely burnt out from being her caretaker for 7 years. We found an absolutely pristine senior living community for her with all one level living, but the adjustment has not been easy for her. I go over to her house nearly every day, help with any laundry or chores, and help her shower if needed. I try to visit and have a pleasant conversation but it ultimately results in her telling me that I took everything away from her or I threw her out of my house or some combination of cursewords and insults. When she lived with us, there was no escape and my children had to witness her behavior. Now that she has her own space, at least I can walk out the door. But I still find myself going back, calling her to see if she is okay, and worrying that something will happen to her. I resent the fact that nobody else in my family ever offers to call or visit, but at the same time I totally understand why they have all pulled away from her. I remember all the things I loved and liked about my mother, but it seems like they have been replaced by a depressed, angry, woman who has no interest in taking any responsibility for her behavior. I know caretakers suffer from depression, but I am also dealing with tremendous feelings of guilt. Am I a selfish person for wanting peace in my own household? To not have my children grow up around insults and name-calling? When she is in a good mood she is lovely and kind like always, but in the flip of a switch she turns into a monster. I hoped that I would be able to have her live with me for the rest of her life, but I could not take it anymore. We did not force her out. She went and looked at the senior living neighborhood and insisted on putting in for one of the units. Now she tells everyone I threw her out. I am not sure where to go from here or how to deal with someone who is suffering from depression when I have my own depression to deal with. How to you set boundaries with someone who is mentally delicate?