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My Dad has been gradually turning all his paper work over to my house .
Both his personal and business affairs... so I could assist him and learn his business affairs.
Now he complains that he doesn’t know where everything is? I keep telling him but I now know I feel he doesn’t trust me.
He signed his car over to me a couple of years ago and thinks I got him to sign something he didn’t want to so so he thinks I have stolen this as well.
I am trying not to take it personally IT HURTS
How do I move on with this new reality?
What kind of strategies?
feeling pretty desperate.
with thanks
shelley

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I must say that when I overloaded my father with papers for him to review, the less he wanted to do it, he finally said "I don't need to see all of this stuff", that ended that. I never took it personally, it was what it was.

What you are experiencing is quite common with those who have dementia. Please try and roll with it, good luck!
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Make him copies of his bank statements every month and a list of what each check was for. I gave my father copies of his statements back when he could understand what they were. I would not tolerate being accused of stealing though.

I do my father's taxes. One year he got a letter saying there was an issue with his return. He flipped out on me....what did I screw up???!!! Turns out the problem was....he forgot to SIGN the returns before he dropped them in the envelope. I made it very clear that if he ever spoke to me like that again he could do his own taxes.
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As his condition declines, not being able to remember these things and being accusatory can become more and more common. It's really not about you, it's him changing and you are in the middle of this dementia type of behavior.

Very common for the declining person to accuse those close to them of stealing. Sad, but true. You can not take it personally. You have to accept this as part of the new reality and somehow plan for it.

Best of luck.
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Daisy2766 Jan 27, 2020
Thank you so much for your words. They went straight to my heart.
It’s a real change of character, my common sense says to not take it personally but my emotional self is hurt.
i am going to remember your words🙏
bless U
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Suspicion, even of previously trusted loved ones, is not unusual in dementia.

I think I’d try this- “You taught me to be honest and I do not steal”.

No guarantee, and if it happens to work once, it’s not going to work indefinitely.

For your own comfort, you will need to develop a thick skin. Dementia is a vicious disease that makes victims of those it afflicts, and also their loved ones.
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