I have been taking care of my grandma for a year now, after I had to move in due to losing my job. She had a major surgery right after I moved in and her recovery was a nightmare. I was here day and night assisting her to the bathroom, picking her up naked off the shower floor, changing her bedpan, putting her maxi pads on her underware, catching her as she fainted and fell up to 6 times a day. I have watched her bang her face and head into walls and have marks so horrfiying she has been questioned as to what happened to her by doctors and friends.
During the month after surgery I was down to 3 hours sleep a night. During this time my family was no where to be found. my dad would come by every day and check in but was quick to leave. my aunt promised she would be here and move in to help take care of her til she was better and the second my gram got out of the hospital and was giving us rtrouble my aunt booked it and hasn't looked back. she is absolutely zero help to me. I am basically doing her job because it is her mother, my grandmother.
I am all my grandma has. But she shows no appreciation. she fights me, argues with me, if I tell her she should do something for her own good she has to prove me wrong by doing the opposite and hurting herself. Last week I watched her fall and bang her head against a table and bleed all over and no one was around to help.
she gets confused daily. every hour of every day she "can't find something" I have to look for her. She has two bank accounts and overdraws and can't remember what is in what. I have been living here a year and she says to me every day "I need to cancel one of these its too confusing"
I have to repeat things to her numerous times a day she can't remember. when I said one day "you have a bad memeory" she yelled at me saying she did not have a bad memory she remembered things fine.
It is very difficult for me to deal with this. I just turned 29. On top of being hassled daily by her, watching her fall, not eat, and then drive after doing all of this (I have tried reporting her they say only doctor or cop can) I have to also watch my grandma basically wither into this person I do not know.
I have ptsd from her falls (I am not making light of the illness) any bang or sound I hear in the house I jump and my heart stops beating I think she is falling and hurting herself. I cry for no reason alot lately. I wake up mad at her and go to bed mad at her because all she does is pace the house and I hear every sound and I can't take it anymore. she hums all day because of the parkinsons and I can't take it anymore.
I am at my breaking point. I tell my mom and boyfriend when it gets to hard they just say "oh you are doing good stay strong" my aunt does not help at all when I go to her. my dad is in denial. none of my cousins stop by at all. it is like it is just me and I get the bad end of it because my gram takes it all out on me.
I have no insurance to see a therapist. I just don't know what to do anymore.
my gram should not be driving, she should be eating healthier, she should be looking into getting a nurse or assistant when I move out (whihc I desperately want to move out by february, no ONE believs me that I Am moving out)
this has been piled on me because I was unfortnant enough to lose my job a year ago and had no where else to go. the whole family knows I am here so they just let me deal with it. it is no concern to them.
I volunteeered to work thanksgiving just so I won't have to be here around my family and deal with everything. that is so sad. I forfeit my thanksgiving while they all get to enjoy it with my gram, when I am the one taking care of her all year
and worse of it all my gram has not once said thank you to me. she doesn't seem to appreciate it. when I do things she doesn't notice.
I feel so alone and taken advantage of and depressed I just don't know how much more of this I can handle. and no one is listening ot me.
how do I get through to people? I wish I could move out but I just can't right now I am almost there though.
thank you for listening. even if there is no advice out there at least someone listened to me. thank you.