I love my mother but everyday I’m absolutely miserable being trapped in my home caring for her and feel guilty about feeling that way. My mom has stage 4 lung cancer from 55+ years of smoking. She was diagnosed May 8th and was in the hospital until May 19th. I was with her the whole time and traveled back and forth daily the second week once my husband almost lost his job because we didn’t have anyone to care for our children while I was away taking care of her. I have 3 children and my husband who also live in the home. I’ve always been the care provider for everyone and it has gotten to the point now that I can’t even care for my own children much less myself because I am caring for my mother. I feel the resentment creeping in. Why would she want me to put my kids off to care for her instead? I have to call someone to take my kids to where they need to go because I can’t leave my house unless someone is here with her which is never. This started before she was ever put on hospice because she said she was nervous when we left her alone. Very seldom my sister visits but only when it’s convenient for her and it may only be for 30 mins-1hr at a time. The resentment and anger has seemed to take over. I just want to scream. I want to get into my car and just drive away. I feel awful for feeling this way but I can’t shake the feeling. Right now I’ve had 3 hrs of sleep because she won’t get up and go to the bathroom alone anymore and I’m just sitting here while she sleeps thinking about how I need a shower before the hospice nurse and social worker comes today but I just don’t want to move to even get myself dressed. I know I sound like an awful person but I can’t make myself feel better about this situation and it continues to get worse. Not to mention all the other questions that are going on in my mind like how am I supposed to live in my home after my mother dies here, what if my 11 year old is the one that finds her dead and it mentally messes her up, once this is over what toll will it have taken on me mentally and physically and on my marriage?