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I was always terrified my father would fall when I took him on trips to the pharmacy. I just decided in my head that after the first fall there would be no more trips out there. Luckily it never came to that, but it is a good excuse to stop the trips to the store.
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Susansa Apr 8, 2024
I’m thinking an actual fall would convince him. He’s had falls at home and luckily he was not hurt. Fear a fall out of home he wouldn’t be as lucky. Would hate for that to happen.
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Maybe he will be satisfied with just an outing, my mom often waited in the car while I shopped and then we'd hit the drive through and take our lunch to eat at the park.
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waytomisery Apr 8, 2024
Yes , when the shopping experience gets too stressful , a drive and getting a meal is enough .
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My mom's the same way, she really is getting to frail to go into stores, but shopping is what makes her happy. So I try to get her to smaller stores, mom and pop type, or the small home town stores, where people know her, there is a small dairy store near me that sells milk, ice cream, has soup in the winter. Mom is know as the soup lady there, and I take her to dollar general, but always go when it's not a busy time. The conveniante stores are something that really stress me out.and she has been insisting on going in, I've tried to ask her to stay in the car but it's not easy. She is to frail and you got , carpenters road crews, all in there on break, I worry they are going to knock her down. And it's very stressful.

Maybe you can compromise, find smaller stores to get him out in once a week. Although my mom still doesn't like it wants to go out more, wants to go to Walmarts, which she just can't do, and doesn't see that. But we just do what we can, and the best we can with what we are given

Getting out to these little stores is what keeps her going, makes her feel apart of the world, gives her exercise. It will be hard on her when that's gone
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waytomisery Apr 8, 2024
My Mom realized on her own she could only do the small stores . She did not want to sit in a wheelchair to go to a bigger store. When even the small stores was too difficult she decided to stay home. She didn’t want to be seen in a wheelchair .

We took my father in law to Cosco a few times at his request . We told him he had to sit in the wheelchair . I pushed him , hubby pushed the shopping cart . Father in law would buy only one thing . It wasn’t worth the long drive for him to only buy one thing . So we switched and only took him to small stores where he could walk until that was too difficult . He was very unsteady and legs weak . Then we told him he would have to sit in the wheelchair everytime we took him out , even to go out to the diner. The handicapped ramps even got too difficult for him to walk , we had to hold onto him . He could only do flat ground. Hubby and I decided we weren’t dealing with him falling when we took him out from his assisted living facility . He sat in the wheelchair the whole time he was out with us no matter where we went . We only went very local to one place per outing , and brought him back to his facility , as he could not be managed in a public bathroom either . We left his walker in his room.
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Tell him you are not a crutch , therefore he stays home while you do the shopping . The other alternative is, if two of you go shopping with him , one pushes your father in law in a wheelchair , the other pushes the shopping cart.

Stop holding him up in the store , that’s absolutely ridiculous. Your husband needs to put his foot down with his Dad .
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After my mom tipped over a shopping cart by holding on to it while falling in the aisle, I told her she couldn't go shopping with me anymore. There was no convincing, there was no discussion. I told her I would do the shopping, and she had to stay home, and that was that.
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lealonnie1 Apr 8, 2024
Imagine that. Putting your foot down and using the horrible and dreaded "N" word: NO. I've used it a lot with my parents while they were alive and it saved all of us a great amount of grief and trips to the ER.
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