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I provide care for both parents..Dad pretty much alert, yet slow with aging/parkinsons..bathing is a real problem as I cannot get him out of the tub..yet he insists he can do it himself..I have back problems, Mom attemps to assist , yet is to small and frail..one day they both will fall. He writes checks to his grandchildren without a second thought..but to assist me in assisting him - no way...I hate butting heads with him yet another argument is about to come. I was advised to apply for medicaid as they have funds to provide home care, but the application was filled with many real personal information...why is that..and i'm not sure I want them to invade into our lives at this particular time...please advise as I'm about to loose it...i'm really tired and beginning to feel it all!

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The reason for Medicaid getting into your business is that Medicaid is for people who don't have the money to pay for their care. That means people must qualify to receive Medicaid on the basis of poverty. If your parents have the money to pay for care - whether or not they use it - they won't qualify until they've spent down their assets.
You definitely need help, however, in caring for them. If you go to your state website and type "caregiving" or "aging" in the search box, you should find the National Family Caregivers Support Program in your state. Once you find that link, ask for help. They will have some answers for you about local resources.
Good luck,
Carol
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You definitely need help - try calling local elder services in your town - they can direct you and provide a wealth of information. There are home health aids, etc. and the people at elder services can give advice on how to get help paying with these services. Hope you can get some help. Take care.
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