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He's 68, can communicate with others and knows people, and showers by himself, but needs help with setting out the towels, wash cloth, soap and shampoo. Also, needs help with setting out daily clothes and night clothes. He no longer can drive. Eats and drinks ok, but gets confused of how to eat certain things. Vitals are good, but on bp meds.


I'm same age, poor health and totally exhausted. We have home care occasionally, but I need someone to come here on an "on call " basis, when I have an emergency with my health issues, i.e. going to the doctor or hospital. Nothing is working for us in our area, as for emergency help. Families are out of town, so no help there. I'm so exhausted, but he's not bad enough to go to a facility, especially during this pandemic. Help, Please?

Respite care isn’t something you can have an “on-call” basis unless you hire a private individual willing to be on-call and you’ll likely be paying dearly for that kind of arrangement. I don’t even know that hospice would be the total solution here because you’d still be providing 90% of his care and it’s not easy to get in-patient respite the second you need it especially during current times. I’m with Joann that perhaps it’s time for assisted living.
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Reply to worriedinCali
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COAAA, Central Ohio Area Agency on Aging, can help you (800-589-7277). And no, respite services are not only for last stages.
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Reply to sjplegacy
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HOSPICE is for a person who has 6 months or less to live (according to a physician); is rapidly declining despite medical treatment (weight loss, mental status decline, inability perform activities of daily living); and is ready to live more comfortably and forego treatments aimed at prolonging life.

If you are already in poor health and need to go to the doctor or the hospital so frequently, you need to develop a plan immediately!! Is that why you are asking about Respite care? Because you live in such a small town/village (with a population less than 3,000) and because you are concerned what will happen to your husband if you need to go to the hospital for a long period of time or to a rehab/LTC facility yourself? 

http://www.coaaa.org/cms/images/docs/guides/COAAA_Respite-Guide.pdf  is a document for the “Central Ohio Area Agency on Aging”. Their phone numbers are: 614-645-7250 & 800-589-7277. Website is: www.coaaa.org
Contact the Area Agency on Aging for more assistance regarding your situation.

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/caregiving/respite-care.htm
This website does a good job of explaining the different types of RESPITE care available. HOWEVER, there may be restrictions due to COVID that limit the types of Respite that can be offered at this time.
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Reply to DeeAnna
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It maybe time to place your DH in an AL or LTC if Medicaid is needed. There are no "on call" agencies. Respite is only good if you can pay for it. If an AL or NH has a bed they may take him for a short time but its usually private pay. And right now with COVID I doubt if u can get him in.

Hopefully another member has some ideas.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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