Follow
Share

I am sole caregiver, sister does nothing but has tried to shove mother into a home and arrange a new lawyer 4 years ago and then tried to make it look like I did it...my mother refers to me as her caretaker but I have no protection to stop them from shoving her into a home and taking everything out from underneath her...how do I talk to her about this..few years back she wanted it taken away from the trust company and did ask me to take control I said no at the time but with increasing health issues I feel I should now please advise

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Just apply for POA, fill out the form, have mom sign it in front of a notary public, where she'll have to provide a valid photo ID.
Boom, done!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You may want to reconsider the POA part, which is financial. Caring for Mom is one thing but dealing with selling her house and paying the bills is too much. If your Mom is of sound mind, they can't sell her house out from under her. I'm doing it because my Mom is no longer capable of making decisions. As her caretaker you should have the Medical POA. I assume you are the one who takes her to appts and talks to doctors. If your Mom gets where she can't communicate, they won't talk to you without her permission or a medical POA. I have one daughter who is good with money, she will be my POA, the other daughter is a Nurse so she will have my Medical POA. Both being backup for the other.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Who is the POA now? Is there one? Is it the trust company? Is it your sister?
If no one and your Mom is competent, she can draw one up anytime, and name you first and your sister as second in case you cannot or you die or such. I am not understanding what she wanted taken away from the trust company? We would need to know what kind of trust. My Mom has a living trust. It is basically for privacy of others learning about or laying claim to assets and to reduce taxes in the end. The trust controls nothing....about her POA or day to day living. I am the trustee of the trust and the POA for financial, durable and medical. Means I am the only one who controls the money and makes decisions she cannot make. She is still allowed to make all decisions she CAN make because she has not been declared incompetent with her Alzheimer's. So I give her choices that are all acceptable in the end, to give her some control over her life. If she's in a state where she doesn't want to deal with something, then I make the decision for that time. I know that we can pull cash out of the kind of trust she has, because it's all in the same place....her checking account IS the trust checking account and I pay all bills from that account. I suppose there can be different rules for other types of trusts, but someone has to be acting as the trustee, and that person has control of accessing all aspects of the trust. Does she have an attorney who did the trust, still in the picture? You should be able to call and ask that person questions and perhaps also get that office to help with drawing up POA papers now. You say your sister tried to do these things 4 years ago....but what's happened since then? Is she bringing this stuff up again? Do you and sister and Mom talk together about Mom's care needs? It's always better to be operating as a team, even though you are the primary caregiver. Do you and Mom live together? Is there a history of bad feelings between you and sister, or sister and Mom etc? If so, you may need a third party to come in and get everyone to start talking about a plan that has everyone's agreement and involvement in order to make Mom's life go well.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

The Trust begins when the trust is signed & some asset(s) put in. If cash is put in to start, it can't be pulled out, I understand.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I got a POA ---and Medical POA for my wife who has FTD. Even as a husband you have no rights for anything she would have signed. It's really serious--get both. Someone get it! It's easy--go in with your mom and sign papers. They have a notary there. Cost $100-$250. Takes 15 minutes tops. Use any lawyer. Call a lawyer and go in. I paid by check myself--what's this you can't pay--the signer has to. One last--put your sister as a second person if something happens to you.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

What if the cash assets are pulled out before the trust begins
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Talk to a lawyer. If you are POA, you cannot pay yourself, it's not legal. If mom's assets are in a trust, she is not going to lose them by going into a nursing home. It sounds like she is doing things the safest way possible.
If you pull the assets out of the Trust, yikes a big mistake!!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Simply tell her, "Mom, it's time we talked about assigning a POA for yourself. We need to get one drawn up. We need to discuss. I want to be sure, if the time comes and I need to make decisions for you, they will be what you want."
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.