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I've be living in my mom's house for about a year. I can't hardly get out of the house since October of last year. I have my mom on Medicaid Waiver and I've been being paid some but not much. The job is 24/7/365 never any days off or uninterrupted sleep but I only get paid 15 to 24 hours per week. As it was explained to me, my mom was approved for 31 hours respite care, so those hours are really for a home care agency to come in to give me a break, but since the agency doesn't have somebody available for all 31 hours, I can get paid for the hours they don't work. Currently the lady who stops by here only has 3 hours per week.


To explain it further, the agency charges $30/hr self-pay, so those people get priority. Medicaid only pays the agency $20/hr, so they take the self-pay clients first, then my mom gets whoever happens to be available if they have extra time. Should they have the availability to work more hours, then I can only get paid for whatever hours are left if any. To make it more screwy, they approved me for up to $17/hr. but I'm only authorized to bill for $14/hr. They said that was so they would have room to give me a raise. I don't think it's right the agency gets $20 and I only get $14, but that's another story.


My big concern is right now, if my mom goes to a nursing home, my income stops. Also, if she would pass away, my income would stop as well. I would need a job like fast. I've been a family caregiver for the past year now and likely it will continue on a little longer. There is NO other family to help. According to a lawyer I talked to, if my mom is on Medicaid and goes into a nursing home, I would be expected to pay her fair market value for my rent which would go towards her care. Since I don't have a job, I wouldn't be able to pay rent and would have to move out with no place to go. The lawyer told me having another source of income from outside the house would be my best option. I tried for several part-time openings but each time they decided to go with another applicant.


I don't even know about getting my old job back, all of the managers over me have quit and they have all new people working there so I don't know anyone. It's 50 miles from my mom's place and we have to deal with a number of customers every day, so the chances of getting COVID-19 are really high and if I get exposed I can't go back to my mom's place.


Even if my mom passes away, there is still the problem with the life estate she did back in 2008. Her idea was to leave me her house, but a new law passed in 2017 prevents that. A second lawyer showed me a table, https://public-dhhs.ne.gov/nfocus/Manuals/APX469/apx469/life_estate_and_remainder_interest_table.htm My mom is 96 so you take the value of the house (all I know is the current tax value) which is showing as 25,000 x .22181 which gives you her share or $5,545.25. This would depend on the amount the house is appraised for which could be lower or higher, but with no job and unable to borrow the money, I would be forced to sell the house leaving me homeless.


Saving the house would only help me out a little bit because I would still need an income to support it.

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Wow!! My heart breaks for you. I know how you must be feeling looking at future and the thought of being homeless is very frightening if not terrifying. I take care of my 95 year old mother who is under care of hospice and I am in the same boat as you. No income coming in after she passes except a Social Security benefit well under 2,000.00 a month. I would have to return to work as well, at the age of 70. I have some back and shoulder injuries so I'm limited to the type of job I would be able to do. This is so unfair and with Covid, jobs are not plentiful. I feel for you. I wish I had some answers for you but I'm struggling to answer my own issues. God bless and I hope someone here can put your min d at ease.
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Reply to Artist69
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My parents were living in a retirement community until health deterioration caused a move to ALF, then nursing home. My house is small and I could not, by myself, care for them. Yet... I had to be at the facilities nearly daily with staff failing to provide proper assistance or someone was ill or fell or etc. I was also trying to run a business and pay bills. I handled all their finances, medical oversight (I had worked in healthcare for many years), bought them supplies they needed and were not supplied (i.e. pull-up Depends), made sure their spiritual needs were met, accompanied to medical appointments and transported as long as I could, and so on. My life was a very stressful pull between caring for my parents and working and being in a long-term relationship and not neglecting his needs as well. I was an anxiety consumed Super Woman.

After both my parents passed (Dad in 2019, Mom in 2020), we were in the midst of COVID-19. My business went under. I also have a second online business that may bring in a little spending money now and then, but surely not a living. During the time my father was dying, my significant other abandoned ship and left me to deal with this alone. I have no real "family" and only spoke with one cousin who, after my mother passed, also tossed me aside due to "political differences." So... over a year later I am unemployed, alone, and trying to figure out what to do. I plan to move and make a fresh start in another area. Not only for better work options, but for my mental health. This was all very traumatic and it's time to move forward and not remain sinking in a quicksand of misery, lonliness, and depleting funds.

My advice:

1. Get some counseling and sort out the emotional aspect of what you are experiencing. If your Mom is receiving hospice care, use their grief counselor and social worker for support (you can get grief counseling PRIOR to a loved one passing... it helps you to prepare).
2. I agree with a work-from-home business, but beware of scams. Don't invest a lot of $$ into some "get rich quick" scheme and go into it aware of the time and energy demands as well as whether you have the room or "down time" to properly provide the necessary services. I sell items online and have a shop; vintage and hand-made. I plan to expand on that as I find it relaxing, fun, and has potential to be profitable.
3. Reach out to local non-profit agencies, religious organizations, neighbors, etc. to help with respite. Sometimes, you just have to take some time out. Sometimes, this may happen suddenly when you reach your peak of emotional and psychological limits.
4. Finding work now is hard. With all the unemployment and young folks coming out of college, the competition is steep. It depends though on your work history/skills and credentials. Health care workers, including Home Health Aids, are in need and now you have the experience... it can tide you over.
5. Take time to do something you enjoy and takes your mind off all things negative. Even if it's watching a movie or going for a walk or planting some flowers.

Wish you all the best in your journey.
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Reply to tishpit
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Yes I understand and so many others face the same situation. I was my husband's caregiver until it was crystal clear he needed much more then I could provide. To find a quality home for him I had to sell our home and I knew the money coming from that would only support him for 8 months of this private home. And, left no income for me. I had been in a home business and was not able to work at it while caring for my husband as he needed 24X7 - 7 days a week. I could barely manage anything else as we had no family able to help and a few friends were already doing the shopping for me. I made a very hard choice for me to sell our home, place him in an amazing private home (a rare find) and work home business. Of all the decisions I had to make, this was the best. Within the month I was able to make enough to allow me to move into a small home that was perfect for me, have the peace of mind to know my husband was cared for and start my healing journey. That was 7 years ago. I continue to grow my business that has been supporting my husband's care and me. What I have learned is to pick the right home business for you... it is not rocket science - and now I share how to evaluate it for free with anyone who is a caregiver - or has been in the past. It has been such a blessing for me and others.
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Reply to CareGiver1437
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Imho, prepare your resume with your skill set and go from there. Best of luck.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Hi...I live in Indiana and we were Not allowed to be paid Anything at all. I lived with my Mother till she passed away. Like you said, 24/7. Going forward, after my Mother passed away (at the age of 97)..I found myself in pretty deep depression. I missed all the little things i did for her, such as making her meals colorful, itc. After 4 months, i needed to get my oil changed. (i know, sounds weird huh?). I mean i was only watching eagles on the computer and playing games. I had no intentions of having any joy in my life. I only existed. I go to the car place, and struck up a conversation with a girl working there. I put my application in, and in a week i was working part time, as a receptionist. (I had 30 years of Customer Service in me). After 5 years, the full timer left and i asked to take the job and got it. I was 73 then, Now, i'm working full time. You would be surprised how many places you can go to get a job. Good luck to you, and God Bless. Oh, i still have some extra words allowed...lol, so i Do want to tell you that God Loves You and so do i for you taking on the job of taking care of your Mother as long as you did. You will never regret it. And deep inside of her, she knows that you loved her and cared for her. Stay positive & i will say a prayer for you.
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Reply to Raindrop
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Don't know lots about you/background.
However, consider transferable skills sets, i.e.:
coordinating
organizing
managing
research
writing reports (for MDs / medical staff) perhaps
Figure out what you did and plug into these categories.
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Reply to TouchMatters
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Most of us taking care of a family member do not get paid at all, so if you are paid for any hours, you are ahead of the game on that score.

Agencies always gets a few dollars more per hour than they pay each care giver. That pays for administrative costs, filing tax papers etc. Hiring yourself out privately might get you a few more dollars an hour, but be mindful of taxes and paper work or you or the person paying you could get in a lot of trouble.

Your greatest concern seems to be how to support yourself when you no longer have your mother's money coming in nor your mother's house to live in. Consider what kinds of work you are able to do, and start looking for opportunities. Maybe there ate some online resources available to teach you additional skills that will open up your choices for your next job.
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Reply to RedVanAnnie
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If you google "how to get a job after an extended period of unemployment" there are a lot of articles that offer hints and advice of how to get started, and how to answer the questions about your unemployment gap.

What sort of work did you do before you became your mom's full time caregiver? Do you still keep in touch with the people there? Networking is a great help when it comes time to find a job; if you haven't kept in touch, you might want to reach out and start a conversation.

You can also use local resources. Do you have a Y near you? They often have job fairs, etc. If there are any sort of career counseling services near you, take advantage of their help, too.

Unfortunately, you are going to have to be a little aggressive in your job search; but it's not an impossible task. I hope you can find something that suits you well.
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Unitetogether Mar 1, 2021
Hi, don't give up. I agree with what jamesj said about your interviews. And that is has only been one year not working. The reason you weren't is a good one and still working.. Keep applying and applying. Everything will be okay. He house should be yours later what your mom wants. Put all your energy in job seeking right now.


You can do this :)
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In regards, to the job you need, why not become an in home caregiver, either with an agency or private 🤷‍♀️
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Reply to tf110862
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Im not sure i understand the issue with your moms house if she goes into a nursing home with medicaid. I thought medicaid for nursing home ie institutional medicaid had a 5 yr lookback = ie 2 yrs is for community medicaid where your mom still lives in the home. If your mom goes into a nursing home, i believe if the spouse or a child(also adult disabled child) still lives there, i dont think they can come after home otherwise i think they might be able to (ie if your mom has no intention of returning)...very confusing subject but good to speak to an attorney...
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Reply to Mhillwt
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You should be able to sign an agreement with your mom to charge her $500 a week for Live In Care and by the time she passes, she would owe you more than the house is worth so you wouldn't have to come up with any money.
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Reply to bevthegreat
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my2cents Mar 2, 2021
Mom is on Medicaid, meaning she doesn't have that kind of money to pay anyone. In fact, her low income is the reason she is getting the in home health care to help her saty at home versus going to a NH. If mom signed such an agreement she could get caught up in a - which one is a lie and which one is the truth? You have money to pay a caregiver but indicated otherwise when you asked state to pay for your care? Or you have no money and need the state benefits you receive. -- Kind of like whatever story you tell to one agency to get help, you need to keep telling the same story to avoid fraud issues.
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FYI the agency gets $20.00 per hour and you get $14.00 that is probably what the caregiver from the agency gets. A lot of what is paid to the agency is "administrative" fees that pay for insurance, maintaining records and all the rest of that stuff.
There are many people that have "reinvented" themselves this past year.
You have not mentioned what you did when you were working but many places are still hiring and employees are Working From Home. (I would be very surprised if that will not become the "norm" as many businesses are finding that the work gets done and they are not paying rent for multiple brick and mortar offices) Keep applying.
From the posts that I have read and the comments I agree that you need to find another lawyer.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Only being out of the work force for a year shouldn't have a negative impact on you finding a job.  If you were to say 5 to 10 years, that would be a different story because technology changes so much.  It really depends on what line of work you are in.  Make sure when you are interviewing that you don't keep mentioning everything you still have to do for your mom.  They might be afraid to hire you for fear that you will be calling off all the time to handle your moms affairs.  You can highlight your multitasking abilities and organizational skills that were greatly enhanced by caring for someone 24/7, but leave it at that.  Even though you probably are exhausted and stressed, try not to look it or act like it in the interview.  I am sure you know these things... :-)

Good Luck on the job hunt!
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my2cents Mar 2, 2021
True - with covid issues, probably lots of folks out of work for a year.
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This isn't exactly your situation, but maybe it will help. And maybe others can comment as well about this.

I have not been working the last year to take care of my Mom ( 95 ) who cannot be left alone and has lived with me the last 4 years. It was my house for over 5 years. But, although I receive social security, and no longer had my job income, I could not afford payments on my house.

So when Mom finally had her house in another town sold early last summer, we consulted her elder attorney and followed her advice. Mom purchased my home for fair market value. The attorney said that after my Mom lives in her new home
( mine ) for 2 years, she can legally gift it to me. And if Mom ever needs Medicaid for a nursing home, the home would not be able to come after the house.

Because I can afford it, I do not charge Mom for care. And luckily for her and me, she is still mostly physically independent with a walker, so it's more of a companionship and meals, laundry, and bathing assist.

We live in different states, so, I am unsure whether this may help you, but can your Mom legally gift you the house now? And then if you have social security income, would that be enough to help you for now?
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Reply to Myownlife
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Nebraska has elder law attorneys.

Nebraska Elder law Attorney. Save. 5.0 stars 1 review. Avvo Rating: 7.4. Licensed since 1994. Jeffrey T. Palzer is an attorney with the Omaha law firm of Kellogg & Palzer, P.C., where he practices in the areas of estate planning, elder law, probate, trust administration, small business planning and business law.
Find the best Elder Law lawyer in Nebraska - Avvo

www.avvo.com/elder-law-lawyer/ne.html

I was caregiver for my mom for four years and wondered the same. I had to think outside the box and was able to find work in my field, but it was out of state, Kansas. After a year I returned to my home state, a rural area that I love and will retire from this job.

Just keep trying. Caregiving is an option that because of pay was not going to work. After four years with mom there was NO WAY I would have done that!
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Reply to gladimhere
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Not sure what your former work experience is, but check with temporary agencies. Temp work often pays more (no benefits) and could lead to permanent work. Also consider talking to homeless shelters and outreach since their social workers can help you apply for reduced price or free classes to update your skills.
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Reply to Taarna
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I just looked at the Nebraska statutes. Your mom's life estate may be grandfathered in, as the statute states: "Conveyances of real estate made prior to August 24, 2017, that are subject to the grantor's retention of a life estate or an estate for a period of time" are not included in the estate.

https://nebraskalegislature.gov/laws/statutes.php?statute=68-919

I'd find a better attorney to help you with this. A good social worker may also be able to help.
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Reply to PeeWee57
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Check out additional information here for estate recovery, https://dhhs.ne.gov/Pages/Medicaid-Estate-Recovery.aspx. If you haven’t already, you should contact the state agency to see if you can get an idea of where you’ll stand and have any paperwork ready when the time comes. I hope this will be helpful to you.
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Reply to Tyred2
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Please take some time to plan for your own future. Be in touch with local agencies or a social worker to find out what your options are. Think about learning new skills. Find out what assistance might be available for retraining, finding an affordable apartment, etc. Many of these services to help you are free. You may have to downsize.
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Reply to NYCdaughter
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What about doing a job that you could work around your schedule with mom? I have two jobs and I've thought about doing stuff like Doordash or Instacart to make a few extra bucks? My nephew delivers pizzas and often averages $25 per hour with tips.
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Reply to EmotionallyNumb
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What kind of work did you do before you left your job to take care of your mom? A year isn't such a long time off if you let a potential employer know why.
The lawyer told you your best option is to have another source of income outside the house. The lawyer didn't figure that you probably knew that already? I hope you didn't have to pay him much to tell you that. Talk to a different one.
Anyway, Medicaid does a five year look back on property and assets. Your mother's property could be protected. If it's not and she does have to go to a nursing home, you will not just get thrown out of the house that day. The nursing home will try to scare and intimidate you about what you will owe them, but you can't get blood from a stone and they know that.
Could it be a possibility for you to take boarders into the house? Or as they are more politely called 'paying guests'. This way you may have an option other than a homeless shelter or a park bench.
There are resources out there and I think you would benefit better from a social worker than from a lawyer. There are all kinds of programs people collect on. People who are far better off than you are getting. Programs like rent subsidy, food stamps, Medicaid, and disability (SSI or SSD). There are also federal programs called 'Basic Needs' which are for housing and other necessities. You may have to work a little bit of a hustle, but you wouldn't be the first or certainly the last to do so.
Please speak to a social worker through your state's Department of Social Services.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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Did you 'enjoy' caregiving?

Good caregivers who show up, put in the time they are being paid for and are honest to boot are HARD to find.

And, nope, you will not get the full amt that the pts family pays as income. The agency has to run!

I made a roaring $9 an hour when I first started CG. But that was actually slightly higher than minimum wage at that time--after 6 months I inquired about a raise and was told 'we don't give raises, ever'. I replied "then that's why you have a 100% turnover every year!!" My client's family drew up legal contracts and tipped me out every month so I made more like $15 an hour. It was all done aboveboard and with 2 lawyers (the sons) drawing it up so it didn't look sketchy.

My agency would not allow more than 32 hrs, b/c at that point they had to pay health insurance and they did NOT want to do that. And, actually, 32 hours was about all I could handle.

You may make more at a NH, or ALF, than in private care. If I were to go back, I would have taken the CNA licensing classes and been qualified for better pay.
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Reply to Midkid58
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BurntCaregiver Feb 26, 2021
That's how it always is with agencies. I was making $9 an hour and they were getting a fortune from insurance. They kept us all at 30 hours a week or less so they wouldn't have to give benefits, but they'd offer fill-in works for more hours. Some of my clients and their families paid me on the side in cash.
A nursing home CNA doesn't make much above minimum. For that money a nursing home CNA has to bust their ass. It's not worth it.
Private in-home care pays a lot more than any agency or nursing home. The downside is that the work and hours aren't guaranteed.
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Keep applying. It is discouraging to be rejected, I know, but keep at it and keep your CV (resumé) up to date.

I don't know what line of work you're in, or what you'd like to do next - how transferable are the skills you have, and would you consider using the skills you've built up as your mother's primary caregiver?
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Reply to Countrymouse
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I am not sure of your background, but have you considered becoming a private pay sitter in a hospital or nursing facility after your mom passes? I know many people that are looking for mature, dependable people, with caregiving experience to sit with their loved ones during the day or at night, because nursing staff is often so busy. I paid a hospital sitter 450.00 for the 2 nights she sat with my dad in the hospital. The sitter was scheduled by my dad's assisted living facility. Many nursing homes and assisted living facilities maintain a list of people available for private pay sitting services. It might not be the type of work you are interested in, but you do have plenty of experience. I would also check into working for home care staffing agencies. They can't seem to hire enough people to work as caregivers. I would prepare for future living expenses immediately after your mom passes, but from my experience finding a sitter or caregiver job should not be a problem in today's world. People need so much help with aging loved ones.
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Reply to Sunnydayze
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This is not uncommon. The people we see move into parents' homes to care for them often end up homeless, jobless and without any job history. It is very common and if you continue to be on Forum you will see it often. We often cannot recommend anything whatsoever but a move into a homeless shelter, a job (often minimum pay) and saving until they can afford a room in someone else's home. This is the sad fact of any life. Without skills there is no pay.
I hope you will consider continuing a job hunt, working at first for low pay as apprentice. There are so many skills that today are more rare and require learning as you go whether tile setting, building, plumbing or any other skill. You will be starting from scratching from scratch.
This is how it is done. You need a job and you decide what you want to do and you work your way up. I can't even tell you the number of years it took me to work from CNA to RN. Two kids, job, college course a year, and just devilish hard work. I sure wish you luck.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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BurntCaregiver Feb 26, 2021
With all due respect to you AlvaDeer, there's a lot of people on this forum. We are all aware of how hard you had to work, but your situation is not SGeorge24's situation. I'm pretty sure that between the lot of us here there is one who can recommend possible working options other than moving into a homeless shelter. Or best case scenario a minimum wage job and a rented room in someone else's place. There's more than a few social workers here too who could share some valuable information on resources to a person in such need.
Maybe all of us here can look into what social programs are available in SGeorge24's state and federal ones.
They are out there if you know how to look. Sometimes a person has to be willing to work the system a bit too and shouldn't feel at all bad or embarrassed by it if they are in need.
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What kind of education and skillset do you have?

If you dont know how to do anything, it'll be difficult findung work during the pandemic. Tons of low skilled workers are still laid off.
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Reply to ZippyZee
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So, maybe you will listen this time.

Why havent you gotten PUA? I wish I could link or screen shot the questions. You would qualify.

Your lawyer sucks, he's not a elder lawyer, get a new one.

Your problem is you keep gouging for a few dollars in pay instead of getting a job where they need to cover the respite so you can work. You have not been a caregiver for 2 years, only one, so most exemptions are out the window.
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Reply to Stacy0122
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SGeorge24 Feb 25, 2021
What is PUA?
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