My mother-in-law moved in with us, but continues to financially support my brother-in-law. My mother-in-law (MIL) is 83. 5 weeks ago she moved in with me and my husband. We still have one son (who works) living at home. We both feel guilty for resenting the loss of our privacy and previous family dynamics. The main reason we are so resentful is because she has been financially supporting my 52 year old brother-in-law for 20+ years. He refuses to work and is unreasonable, stubborn, uncaring, and seems to feel entitled. He has leeched off of family members all of his life. My BIL had been living in his father's house until it was repossessed and sold at auction and he was forced to leave two months ago. His father had taken out a second mortgage on his home a few years before being placed into a nursing home, so he still owed tens of thousands on it. BIL continued to live in the house, and my MIL lived with a friend, but paid for all of his expenses: cigarettes, beer, food, phone, electricity, cable, and computer, etc. The water pipe had burst one winter, and understandably, my husband refused to fix it. So, my MIL would deliver water to him and drive him places. My MIL allowed my BIL to talk her into buying a brand new Toyota 3 years ago. She had a perfectly good car, which was paid for. I know this is a terrible co-dependent relationship. My husband and I know that if she would let him do for himself (which he is fully capable of), she would have enough income to live in an assisted living community. But, alas, she refuses to stop coddling him. The original plan MIL and BIL had was to find a place and live together. They found a house to rent. My husband and his two sisters would have nothing to do with their brother or help their mom move in with him. I ended up helping. On the day I loaded and unloaded all of the boxes, he BIL didn't lift a finger to help me. Then he locked us (me and MIL) out of the house. He told her she didn't need a key to the house.) It was 100 degrees, so we drove back to my house. An hour or so later, we went back and he was outside mowing the lawn. The house was still locked, so we sat on the porch a few minutes. He ran out of gas. He asked for her keys and didn't open up the house for us. He said he would be right back. We sat in my car with the air on and he did return. She told him (after I told her to) open the door to the house so I could load the boxes in. When I finished, I left without a word. I was beyond livid. This was a Thursday. On Sunday after church, my husband's uncle told me that BIL dropped off my MIL at his house Saturday and did not return for her. He didn't answer his phone, so she had to spend the night with my uncle. I drover her home from church and dropped her off at the rental house. Her car was there. He let her in. The following Tuesday, I get a call at work from my sister-in-law telling me that BIL just dropped MIL out at the front of her house and drove off. Luckily, her husband was home and she was able to come in out of the heat. We wanted to call the police and report the car stolen, but MIL would not support that. She spent the night with my sister-in-law. The next day, me, my SIL and her husband went out to the house and BIL was still gone with her car. We were able to get in and we cleaned out all of her belongings and brought them to our house. She is afraid of my BIL now, because the day he dropped her off, he couldn't find the car keys and accused her of hiding them. He screamed at her. Later, he found them. She has not returned to the rental house, seen, or spoken to my BIL since, but she is still paying the bills. UGH!!!!! We are so frustrated!! My husband did step in the day after her first night with us. He and I went over to get her car from him. Surprisingly, he answered the door, gave my husband the keys, and removed his junk from her car. I was very thankful that nothing bad happened. So now, she is happy as a lark and we are hiding our resentment. I love her and want her to be happy and safe. We've worked hard to clean out the closets in the spare bedroom to accommodate her. We don't want to hurt her feelings or make her feel unwelcome, however, I feel we are being taken advantage of. I have spoken to her about end-of-life planning and she has given me all of her burial insurance papers and other information. My own father planned ahead and put himself and his wife in an assisted living facility a few years before he passed away. I've never had to deal with this kind of situation. I go from resentful to guilty and back. I feel as though my home is not my own anymore. I have been staying late at work, because I know when I get home, she will be in my recliner watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy - every single night. Perhaps we are over accommodating for her. But I feel selfish not to be. I think I'm a little more bothered about this than my husband. I need someone to talk to and some coping strategies, PLEASE!!!!! Thank you for this website.