First of all up to this point, I have not found a better site for caregivers. And we need this!
To make a long story short, and leaving our some details, after my parents retired, they moved to be near my brother & his wife. Now, some 30 years later, my brother & his wife will be moving 10 hours away (driving) & my parents will be "alone". I live 6 hours away & am trying to get them into an independent living facility near me. They live in a townhouse with good neighbors and do pretty well even though they both have underlying health problems (heart disease, mobility, hard of hearing, osteoporosis, etc). Dad is 90 Mom is 86 & Dad does not like to drive due to vision deficits. They have modest resources & based on the fees quoted, he is afraid he will run out of money if they go to an Independent living complex. I have stressed over & over that this is his money & he should spend it on himself & Mom, but he just can't seem to get there. Also, the idea of selling the house, some contents, & moving 6 hours away seems overwhelming. My husband & I have also stressed that this is a doable project that we can handle. Dad WILL have to spend some money to pull this off, but he can't bring himself to do this. They have both recently had acute illnesses which fortunately were able to be treated at home, but there will come a time when this won't be feasible. I drive to see them about every other month & help with whatever they need. However, there has been no movement toward getting rid of excess possessions or simplifying finances & I have offered to help with this. My worry is that there will be another health crisis & I won't be able to get there for a day or so & in the mean time, they will be stuck. They are private people, not necessarily prone to needing frequent social activities. They currently have someone coming in once a week for household help, but there have been so many personnel changes that they are ready to give this up. I need someone to at least "lay eyes" on them to let me know if there are any declines further declines.
If anyone has any ideas about how to help them move near me, I would appreciate it. It would help ME help THEM.