I have been caregiving for my mother since I was 11years old when she almost had her foot amputated after a pregnancy. I raised my little brother basically myself because my mom was constantly in the hospital. When I was 18, my mother completely lost her vision and I stayed to care for her and my 5 year old brother. Fast forward to the present... I'm now 31 years old and still caregiving. My mom's condition has declined ten-fold and she has so many conditions that I feel even her doctors are overwhelmed. She is blind, end stage renal failure(8yrs with a failed transplant), has had a quadruple bypass, orthostatic hypotension (she constantly falls and faints), severe tremors caused by Lyrica, lymphedema, cellulitis and Frey's syndrome. She can no longer walk, feed herself, produce urine, bathe herself, or dress herself. She has dialysis 3 times a week and recently she had a fall and broke her leg in three places. She signed herself out of rehab because she only wanted me to care for her. I feel overwhelmed and overextended because I now have a 5 year old daughter who I adore and a supportive fiancee who don't get to see the best version of me because I'm BURNED OUT! I feel hopeless and I'm constantly sick these days. I have no time for myself. I have constant constant panic attacks due to be "stuck" in 911 (fight or flight mode). I am depressed beyond measure. My physical appearance is beginning to suffer. My brain is foggy. I'm getting clumsier and now I cry at the drop of a hat for nothing. My family and friends are constantly telling me I need to take a step back from caregiving for a while to focus on myself but how? I have gaps in my working history and no income. My brother just turned 18 and he has his whole life ahead of him but he seems drained from helping out too. I don't want the full burden on him either. I'm stuck at a crossroads of choosing to serve my mom until the very end or risking my mental health. It's been 20 years now and I'm burnt out.