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Does anyone have experience with limiting specific visitors at a residential care facility? My mother has a friend who is a very bad influence on her. He lived with her basically free of charge for several years. He has no job (even though he's substantially younger than her) and no income. He's well under retirement age and could work even though he claims he's too disabled to work. She is in a residential care facility and he goes to visit her frequently. We believe he's there for "physical satisfaction" and to also keep his hold on her. After he visits, she is always very agitated and more confused and irrational. My brother has power of attorney but we don't have guardianship. Is there any way to restrict his access to visit her? We've contacted adult protective services and they say we don't have enough concrete evidence to keep him away.

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A possible alternative is to get a PPO (Personal Protection Order), which is a restraining order preventing someone from contacting another person(s) by phone, e-mail, from coming within a designated distance of the protected person's residence, and perhaps other similar restrictions.

In the county in which I live, a PPO office is available in the county courthouse to help prepare these kinds of orders. The individual seeking the order takes it to a designated judge's clerk, who presents it to the judge for execution. The judge makes the decision whether or not to issue it, and sometimes makes restrictions or changes to contact provisions.

I would see if I could get someone at the facility to document the agitation your mother experiences; if nurses or aides witness this, it's likely to be in your mother's records.

It's served by a sheriff deputy. A true copy would be provided at the residential facility; however, you should check with them to determine if they'll assist you in enforcing this order (which they should). But the question would be if the facility is unrestricted and there are more than one access points, how they would be able to keep him out if the doors are open. He would be in violation of the order and subject to police intervention if he shows up, but in my mind there's a question how someone would know he does unless there's a secured, monitored entrance.

You might also ask if they have witnesses to his visits, whether he comes at specific times. If so, perhaps one of the family could be there, with a video camera. His behavior might change then. But at least you'd know what's taking place.

You could also speak with the facility's admins and ask about installation of a hidden camera to video his interactions with your mother. They might not agree, as presumably the camera would video employees and other visitors as well.

Do you know if he has a criminal record?
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MamaDuck, the Staff or family could tell this man that there are new rules at the facility.... that men cannot visit with a single female in the room, the visit has to be in the common area of the facility. Maybe that alone would be enough to discourage his visits if you feel there is something physical between your Mom and him.
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