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The couple handling all of my mother-in-law's affairs does not keep her son or grandchildren in the loop. They move her, hospitalize her, etc. and sometimes it takes us weeks, even months to find her. Usually threatening to call the police works. She is in a memory care facility, and closest family is 2+ hours away, so having someone handle doctor visits etc is essential, but they do not communicate with us, and do not do anything to help her emotional needs. She is begging me to get a family member added to whatever court docs have kept us out of the loop. We want to be involved/ informed of decisions regarding her care. They now have made it so family cannot even take her out to lunch without permission from the Conservator! Please advise...thanks!

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The court notifies next of kin. Papers are served on the son. If he doesn't show up in court, the hearing continues without him.
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this person got himself assigned without family knowing, has moved her without telling us where, then has gradually removed all evidence she has a family. Family was not allowed to see her for a month...not until the threat of police involvement. She knows she can't go home, but doesn't understand why we can no longer include her in family gatherings, and neither do we!!! We would like to know how this guy got control of everything, and doubt that it was done legally! We need help!
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Sorry, you can't just add people to a conservatorship like that. The probate court appoints one. From the little you wrote, it sounds like the conservator is doing their job. I take it that you have free access to your mother in the facility. I would just make sure I visited as often as possible so I could keep in contact.
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Guardians and Conservators are required to keep all matters confidential and they report only to the judge who appointed them. Any decision to move her is reviewed and approved by the judge. You would have to enter a "show cause" hearing before that judge. I seriously doubt if the judge would approve taking someone in memory care out of the facility, for their own safety. As far as seeing MD's, her care is now by the facility MD. Her old primary MD is out of the picture now. She is probably insisting she wants to go home, too, but the court has already rejected that option as unsafe.
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You petition the court with your own attorney to have conservator removed or changed. You will have to show that conservator has not been upholding court order of the duties assigned.
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