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My husband's dad is an 85-year-old, 200 lb man who fell and broke his back Christmas Day. This required emergency surgery and extensive hardware during a 5 hour surgery to repair L4. Before the fall he was able to shuffle-walk using a rollator.
After two weeks of intensive PT, OT and SLP at an acute rehab hospital he is making no progress and being discharged to Skilled Nursing. He cannot sit up in bed on his own. He cannot stand up even with support. The rehab hospital uses a lift to move him from bed to wheelchair in which he is strapped in and wearing a full soft clamshell like brace.
Today, the admissions coordinator at the SNF asked if dad would be coming home to live with us? WHAAAAT...?
We live 70 miles from town in a rural community where there is limited home healthcare options. Honestly given dad's condition her question gobsmacked me.
What kind of help and equipment is needed to provide in-home care in a situation like this?

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Just say no. Say no to the facility. Say no to your husband. Say no to his sister. They need to say no to their father. No, no. NO. This is not just for yourselves, this is for your FIL's health and safety.
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Reply to MG8522
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Just wanted to add 100% agreement with the other people posting.

I took care of my bedridden mom, using the type of equipment you saw. Never in a million years should you try using a Hoyer Lift on someone like your Dad who has a broken back or back or spinal surgery. Too risky, too dangerous and don't even consider it. No!!

This is too much for you, and I am sorry someone at the facility even mentioned it to you. They are wrong. He needs professional care at a facility. No exceptions.
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Reply to QuiltedBear
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Get him in to a good facility that has LTC and accepts Medicaid. He starts out privately paying and then eventually when his assets are depleted, he can apply for Medicaid. Have him discharged directly into the new place. Don't take him back to your home for any reason.

My MIL was in an excellent facility in LTC for 7 yrs on Medicaid. She got great care.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Well, you've got an admissions coordinator who must be a moron. To work in that business and not see that it's impossible for dad to be cared for at home is absolutely ridiculous.

You must insist that he can't live with you. Look around the rehab at the equipment they use for him - that's what you'd need ++++++ more as his condition worsens. In today's world, health care people assume that the average caregiver can provide care for persons with health issues like your FIL. During my days as a family caregiver for my parents and another relative, I was expected to give shots in the stomach, load a 45 lb. wheelchair into my car trunk after transferring a 175 lb. man from the chair to the passenger seat of the car, remove doors from their hinges so a wheelchair could go through the door, and more.

My best advice is to look stupid, hunch your back over a bit and walk with a cane. That's what I wish I'd done before I got roped into services that I looked able to do but wasn't.
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Reply to Fawnby
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Musiceduce Jan 24, 2026
Sorry this happened to you. Thanks for sharing your story.
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People can say whatever they want to you, even crazy things like "were recommending home discharge " but you can also say back "you're nuts. This is an unsafe discharge. Figure out reasonable next steps." He's not going home with you unless you're a billionaire who can afford 4 caregivers per day.
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Reply to peanuttyxx
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Kaysmile10 Jan 24, 2026
I agree with what you say you need to keep on repeating that it’s an “unsafe environment/discharge “ to go to your home. Although I must’ve missed something where was he before he fell
He needs a 24/7 caregiver. Live in rates in Chicago are is $250-350 per day
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Gobsmacked is a fair reaction. My mom lost every physical capability, could literally do nothing, and became a two person assist for every move. There was simply no way her level of care could be accomplished in a home setting. My mom made no progress after extensive therapy and transitioned to long term nursing home care, from private pay to eventual Medicaid. She received competent, compassionate care throughout. Don’t believe you can take this on, and don’t allow FIL to believe it’s a possibility. Some things are just sadly too hard. I wish you well finding the best care in rotten circumstances
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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If this facility will not keep him you need to find another one. No, you cannot take care of a bedridden man of that weight that needs 24/7 care. The facility my mom lives in has several patients that cannot walk, some cannot sit unassisted. They are cared for and moved by staff members. It's their job.
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Reply to JustAnon
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KayeinAZ Jan 20, 2026
To clarify, the facility is accepting my father-in-law but she was wondering what our plan might be if he does not show progress and Medicare stops covering his stay there. And yes he could move private pay to the long-term care wing. But she also said that many people take their family member home.
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DO NOT take him home.

It truly is an “unsafe discharge”

He will need to go to a nursing home, LTAC or skilled nursing types of places.
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Reply to southernwave
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Your father in law requires a team of care in a skilled nursing facility. If the current facility will help, seek another place. Do not take him home.
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Reply to Patathome01
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"What kind of help and equipment is needed to provide in-home care in a situation like this?"
Everything they have in a full care facility. Hospital beds, lifts, trained staff 24/7...
Unless your FIL is extremely wealthy, home care is not an available choice.
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Reply to DrBenshir
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MeDolly Jan 25, 2026
I agree, time for Dad to be placed so he can get the care he needs, this is not an in-house care situation.
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