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My dad has signs of dementia. My mom has some medical issues, but she is fully cognizant. My sister took control over my dad's finances, putting herself on all his accounts. She refuses to follow the financial wishes of my parents. My mom has asked my sister to return all credit cards, bank account information, check books etc., but my sister refuses. This is causing my mom a great deal of stress, affecting her health. How can she regain control over my dad's finances?

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Your father can close all of those accounts and open new ones in his and your mothers names.
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nanshe Nov 2019
Great idea! I will talk to him about this.
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How did your sister do all this? Is she Dad's POA?
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nanshe Nov 2019
She is not the POA. She basically told him that she was going to put herself on his accounts and pay his bills. It is complicated, but both parents were medically fragile at the time this all happened. My dad protested, and asked for the credit cards back, or at least to accompany my sister to the bank. She went to their house, demanded the cards and the bank statements, and my mom gave in because she was very stressed and feeling overwhelmed. My dad was confused, thinking she was just temporarily taking the bills and cards to pay them.
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Your sister cannot simply "put herself on accounts". Someone had to go with her, either father or mother to accomplish this. You don't just waltz into a band and get added. If sister is a POA and is not following the wishes of the one cognizant person her POA can be withdrawn at once by a cognizant party. If the father is diagnosed with dementia you need proof of this (written from his doctors) and then Mother can be POA with a second listed, whomever she designates. Go to an Elder Law Attorney NOW. It is well worth the hour of time and instruction you need to accomplish this in your state. You need to know what state the finances are, how they are listed and who is designated as POA. Get all documents you are able. IF your father designated your sister when he was mentally able to do so, and if the father maintained control of all finances this will be legally a complicated issue, as your mother as the spouse has rights. You need to know what they are and the status of things. As I said, this can get complicated.
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nanshe Nov 2019
She is not the POA, but she is now on all his accounts. She did this by bullying him when he was recovering from a hospital visit. Mom was also recently out of the hospital, so she wasn't up to the battle. As it stands, the accounts are separate, but their medical issues have necessitated that they each contribute to a joint account to pay medical bills. My mom is paying all bills right now, because my sister refuses to add the money promised by my dad.
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If your father gave power of attorney to your sister and authorised her access to his accounts - this must have happened, your sister could not have "taken control" without his consent - your sister cannot simply hand over his finances to your mother. Your sister is responsible for them once your father can no longer manage for himself. She has a legal duty to fulfil.

Your mother, of course, can manage her own finances as she sees fit. But she has no particular right to "regain" control over your father's money unless that is what he wanted; and it seems he didn't.

When you say that your sister "refuses to follow the financial wishes of my parents" - what do you mean? If there is a dispute about some particular issue, would it be possible for you to help resolve the dispute?
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rovana Nov 2019
I was wondering if the money is in fact all Dad's. The OP did not mention if the credit cards, the bank accounts, etc.  were in Mom's name as well,  It is not clear if they are community property - in many cases one spouse leaves money management to the other, often the wife allows husband to handle financial affairs, but this does not mean that the moneys are all the husband's.  I would want to know the laws in the particular jurisdiction, particularly if we are talking about community property. In that case the POA may be overstepping their responsibilities/rights.
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