My dad has not been diagnosed with Alzheimer's officially but is showing all of the signs and his mother had Alzheimer's. My step mom is in poor health but her mind is good. She is in and out of doctors appointments and has my dad drive her back and forth and he is left alone while she is in her visit. He has forgotten where he was and why and has wandered off. She has sent him from their home miles in the country to the store on a bicycle and for coffee in their truck. This last time she sent him to walmart and he was gone 4 hrs before a nice man brought him home. She won't let him have a phone and won't let him leave with us. She said he wants to stay with her. He said he will go with us. She won't let him. He is supposed to be on BP meds but isnt getting them. Where do I start ??
You list Conroe on your profile, so who lives in Conroe, them or you?
Your brother lives in Mississippi, right? U also?
So your desired plan is to physically take your dad away from his legal wife and their home and move him, just him, 2 states away? Is that it?
In the interim, the driving needs to be addressed. I would go online to the DMV for his state and report him as a danger to himself and others. You can do this anonymously. From here it can differ by state but in some the DMV will send out a letter informing him he needs to come in for a test (written or eye or whatever). Hopefully no one will take him or if he goes he won't pass. However they don't give a cognitive exam there, so it's not guaranteed his license will be revoked. Is it possible to befriend one of their immediate neighbors and inform them of this unsafe situation, and ask that they call 911 the moment he leaves the driveway and just keep doing it?
You state your step mom's "mind is good" but is it? She obviously doesn't see the danger in what she's having your dad do. Have they been married long? Does she have kids from a prior marriage? Who is going to take care of her if your dad leaves?
Another option is to call APS and have them do a wellness check, outlining your concerns. Without a PoA the county will eventually pursue guardianship for your dad if you don't (and it's expensive and time-consuming). Not sure what else can be done.