How can mom live on a $45 per month stipend after facility/Medicaid absorbs her SS income?

Indigo108, when my Mom moved into a Nursing Home, she came there with the clothes that she already had at home. I saw no need to purchase any new items. I brought her robe back home as she didn't need it, as the Staff would make sure the patients are dressed before breakfast.

As for the nursing home meals, talk to the Staff. Everyone's cooking style is different. I never brought in restaurant carry-out for my Mom, I wanted her to get use to eating what the nursing home served. Now, my Mom had late stage dementia, so her needs were different compared to others in the nursing home, she never noticed what she ate.

We also must remember that Medicaid is taxpayer funded, thus you and I both are paying. In order to give the patients more in stipends, the State would need to cut corners somewhere else or either raise taxes. I am glad that Medicaid is available for those who need it.

Your panic attacks aren't going to change anything so try not to get worked up over it. Yes, this is how it really is. Welcome to the wonderful world of Medicaid-friendly care facilities. This is how it is. These places are basically a storage facility for old people. In some states people can keep $60 a month of their income because technically a person in a care facility doesn't have to live on it because the facility meets their basic needs of food, shelter, clothing, medical/hygiene care.
Fawnby makes excellent suggestions. Look for clothing at thrift stores. Look online for any local beautician schools and ask if the students offer reduced-price haircuts to care facility residents.
Shop in bulk for food items that your mother can keep in her room like snacks, fruit, if the facility allows it. This will make up if she's not getting enough to eat with the meal portions.
Whatever you do, don't allow her $45 a month to go into her in-resident account. The facility will screw her on that money. You keep that money back and spend it on her snacks and soap and anything else she may need. It won't cover it all, but at least it's something. Letting the nursing home have it will mean she gets nothing.

It's doable but some sacrifices would need to be made. How much do you think mom would need, with room, and board, utilities and food being covered? As for food, they may offer little to save money and also to cut down on any waste.

As Fawnby mentioned you could bring in what you felt mom would need and that the monthly allowance she gets would not cover.

Time to switch to a different mode. If you're taking her to a restaurant or bringing fast-food meals, start making extra when you cook for yourself and freeze it to take to her when you visit. Shop for items she needs in thrift stores (some merchandise will be new with tags, donated by a store, if you prefer not to buy used). Haircuts might be found at a local beauty school, where students cut hair for a reduced price. I don't know what Medicaid thinks about how much is left over for a person to live on. I doubt if they think about it at all. It's Medicare's mission to provide a low-cost care facility for those who have no means to pay for private care, and that's what they do. Nothing else. I'm sure it's very hard on you, and good luck.