Who grieves the most when the journey of Careing for a Love One ends ? When my beautiful mother passed away in mid 2016 I cried my heart out unconsolibly for months, even though I had shared the journey with Mam right throughout ?
Johnjoe, caregivers become intimately acquainted with the persons we care for, in a way that no one else can. Their death is like losing a little part of ourselves. It seems to me most reasonable that caregivers suffer deeply. It also is logical that we are often the most relieved, because we have seen the suffering and are glad our loved one is at peace.
So, we have two conflicting emotions going on, and on top of that our personal world has changed dramatically and we are also adjusting to a new normal.
Give yourself plenty of time. Be gentle with yourself.
I have recently lost my stepdad, now my mom on hospice in a very dysfunctional family. They want to exclude me from everything. I cared for the two of them for four years. Now I am nothing in their eyes. Sure they provided care too, with the help of a facility, 24/7 care provided by others. Just very sad about all the losses tonight, including my twisted sisters that just want me out of the way.
Thank You Gladmhere, and Pamstegma for Your continuous support, as Both of You have always been very helpful to all of Us on this wonderful Site. Your contributions are inspiring and so insightful and I am in Your debth. {{{ Hugs & Blessings }}} and the greatest peace.
Because it is a complete change for your life. You have provided the care for a very long time. Your life has revolved around providing care now the mission of your life is gone, you don't know what to do next, what is coming for you now? The fear of the unknown.
You are not alone. I have seen it many times here on AC. The person that provides the care is completely lost. In a way I was fortunate that mom was moved to a facility rather than being home with me when her care and family dysfuntion became impossible. It took me a full seven months to begin to feel like doing much of anything for me. My life was mom and caring for her. Mom is still alive and was just accepted to hospice a few days ago. It has been a very gradual process of changing my life. I still isolate plenty a year and a half later.
So, just take your time the grief process is very different for everyone. Find a grief support group. Find other caregivers that are going through the loss of the person they cared for. Best wishes for you and new growth.
So, we have two conflicting emotions going on, and on top of that our personal world has changed dramatically and we are also adjusting to a new normal.
Give yourself plenty of time. Be gentle with yourself.
You are not alone. I have seen it many times here on AC. The person that provides the care is completely lost. In a way I was fortunate that mom was moved to a facility rather than being home with me when her care and family dysfuntion became impossible. It took me a full seven months to begin to feel like doing much of anything for me. My life was mom and caring for her. Mom is still alive and was just accepted to hospice a few days ago. It has been a very gradual process of changing my life. I still isolate plenty a year and a half later.
So, just take your time the grief process is very different for everyone. Find a grief support group. Find other caregivers that are going through the loss of the person they cared for. Best wishes for you and new growth.