My mother is ALL over the place! One week she's talking about selling her home and moving the next week she is talking about reverse mortgages and the next week she's talking about getting glasses that she just got 6 months ago.. ETC.... She is forgetting to pay bills that are not on auto pay... she buys mass quantities of household items (example: toilet paper .. she has at least 6 to 8 Gaint packs..from cosco of toilet paper and the same with paper towels.. she has hundreds and hundreds of peanut butter plastic jars she cleans and saves. They have taken over ALL cupboard spaces.. Also she has made very serious medical decisions in the last few years that now she REGRETS!! I want to be here for her; she has ALWAYS been there for me and my brother.. but both of our health issues are being effected with her behavior now. I have been on this AgingCare site for a few yrs and I am so grateful for things I have learned here. And I am comforted that many others are going through things I am going through. Thanks for everyone's support here.

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I agree with the other posters. Make an appt with an eldercare attorney. They will know how to discuss everything with her. Tell her you want to get financial advise about whether or not to sell the house or something. Just get her there and they will do the rest. They are used to this type of situation.
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Ditto to everything AlvaDeer suggested. Also, you may want to lead by can enter this conversation by talking about how you and your husband have gone and taken care of this important business because no one gets out alive and one never knows how it will go for them, so putting these "safeguards" into place will make it easier for the LO to have things go their way as much as possible and to relieve the stress that happens for family members when there no plans made.

Per AlvaDeer's reference to other siblings, if you have any you should decide amongst yourselves prior to approaching your mom who is willing/should be the PoA for medical and financial or both. You can have more than one. Once there is consensus, have that designee meet alone with your mom with the legal papers handy, as that may be easier than getting her to see an attorney. You can download the docs that are specific for your state online from services like Then you will have to take her and 1 (or 2) witnesses to a notary to make it legal. Make as many originals as there are designated PoAs so that each has an original copy. Best case scenario is that the PoAs are very local to your mom and will have your mom's best interests as a priority, and are reliable, trustworthy and good communicators.

We did this for my reluctant inlaws. My MIL signed but her dope of a husband did not and he had to become a ward of the state. At least get the PoA taken care of asap and don't be afraid to have "difficult conversations", because it will impact you one way or another. Good luck!
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She is right on the cusp of soon not being ABLE to make you POA. She has to be of sound mind to do this, because she will be assigning you to manage her financial affairs.
First I caution you to be careful what you wish for. Are you the only sibling? This is not an easy job and it takes great organizational skills and a willingness to learn, to keep meticulous records.
Secondly, if you wish to do this, you go with her now to an Elder Attorney and make certain all her papers are done. Does she have a will or want one? Does she have DPOA for health care directives, and for managing her money, and etc. I would be clear with her the reasons, that she is slipping mentally and a pointing out of the bathroom tissue is a good way to explain it. If she does the DPOA you can invoke it at the point that she is unable to act at all and several doctors agree this is the case. If she doesn't want to do ANYTHING, then you can petition the court for guardianship when that is necessary; again, careful of what you wish for; might be easier to have court appoint a fiduciary to manage her funds, and to be free of this, and just there to help her with choices to be made.
To many elders this represents a real loss of control,one they cannot abide. I am wishing you luck. But a visit to an attorney to make certain her affairs are in order is great, and it is best done quickly while she can understand completely. It will soon be too late, and end in the hands of the court, with much more expenditure of her funds, etc.
Again, I assume that you are the only sibling. If there are others, this is time for a family meeting and discussion about where you will all collectively go at this point.
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