My mother is almost 95 and lives alone since my father died six years ago. I have been overseeing her home and have people coming in to clean and shop and prepare her meals and keep her company.
The back story is that six years ago, he was convicted of a felony for stealing from her. He was under probation and no contact was allowed. She bitterly disliked him and wanted nothing to do with him. Now, she is getting dementia, and can't remember that he stole from her. And he has gradually started coming to visit her. She wants the visits, because she is "so lonely". (but actually she has people there five days a week, at least). I don't think she can even remember visits. She is very needy.
He is telling her I am going to "institutionalize" her, and throw her in a nursing home. And telling her I harass him every time he comes to visit. Which isn't true because I literally have had no contact in the past 6 years.
I am finding out what he is saying from my aunt. My mother is keeping this recent stuff a secret from me.
I would like any input on how to get this to stop. It isn't productive, and truth be told, she will need to go to assisted living in the not too distant future, because of dementia, physical issues, and just not being able to live on her own. BTW, I do have financial power of attorney. My other two siblings are out of state and not really involved.
You are free to think whatever you would like. I live nearly an hour away from my mother, so I drive down once a week, or once every two weeks. My son lives nearby and visits her frequently
My nephew was convicted of a felony and actually stole a really large amount of money from her. My mother is extremely concerned about having her money last her throughout her life. Her mother lived to 102.
To everyone:
I want to thank everyone for all the helpful advice I have received in this post. It has helped me so much to figure out the right direction to go in! I now realize with healthcare POA, I can probably have her go to assisted living, because it is not really safe for her to continue to live in the house alone.
I am going to see the elder care attorney for this.
Again, thanks so much to everyone!