How can I show proof of abuse of isolation of my elderly mom?

Sabrina168: Your mother's broken hip that you share in your separate post of December 17 should be proof enough as you've stated that your sister gave two different stories of the event.

Sabrina - I'm sure you mom is miserable! You list a lot of issues in your profile about her and I think I would be miserable if that were me! Your mom has dementia, as does mine. Mine can not make plans, doesn't really enjoy most people anymore and has a general hard time with social interactions. This is due to her dementia and it could be happening like this to your mom too.

With all her issues and now a broken hip, it may very well feel like your sister is waiting for her to die. Caring for her must be very difficult. Does she want to continue doing so? If not, time to find proper placement for her.

What going on due to her hip? Did she have surgery? If so, I'd talk to staff and see if she can go to rehab. MUCH better than going home since they will work with her a lot and get her back on her feet.

Best of luck.

You want to get your mom out, but to where? If you are offering to take her into your home, and your mother isn't under a guardianship, then your mother can make the choice. Then look at adult daycare programs in your area, and for other services to provide help, for example, P.A.C.E. Also what income does your mom have and who has control of it. If she is on Social Security, is there a representative payee?

If you aren't planning to take your mom in, be sure to find a good home for her. Most conventional facilities are warehouses - but maybe they would be better than your sister's home???

There are lots of questions.

Get some help: https://agencyonaging4.org/services-by-category/

I would also probably get a competent elder law attorney involved whatever the cost -- at least a consultation. See https://www.naela.org/

p.s. I'm unclear why people are saying your mother has dementia. In any case, there are many kinds of dementia, and it is irresponsible for someone to say what your mom says cannot be relied on. That is what facilities say to excuse themselves from their rampant neglect. Only someone close to her and compassionate, with training in dementia, can assess the situation most accurately (and sometimes even they are wrong).

Work this out with your sister. Thank God your not going through what i am. My mom is 75yrs has huntingtons chorea, incapacitated and my sister who was assistant POA for my grandmother who also had huntingtons. My sister told my mom she was disinherited then forged POA documents and forced her into an assisted living that doesnt speak english and said she was mental.

My mother is an extrovert, she thrives in AL, being with many her age. She takes bus trips, attends events, plays cards and more. Elders need to be with others who have the same interests and mindset.

Reading your other post it seems that you are not happy with your sister and that is the real issue.

This is the newest post within 24 hrs from this OP

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/mom-suffered-from-a-broken-hip-after-falling-out-of-her-bed-i-received-two-stories-from-my-sister-an-484764.htm

What proof do you have to show other than your mom telling you she is miserable?
Is your mom completely competent or is she suffering from dementia?
How long have you and Sister been at war over your mother?
IF you have solid reason to suspect abuse then you can call APS and ask them to visit and assess, letting them know you currently are forbidden from visiting yourself and you suspect abuse.

Sabrina, dementia is a total game changer. What mom used to be can not be depended on to gage what is best for her now. Visitors might cause agitation for days after, they may say things that throws mom in to a loop, she may cry and not sleep for days, these are real issues dealing with dementia.

I would try to visit your mom, cause the least amount of upset for your sister, niece and mom, even if you have to let stuff roll off your back, because 24/7/365 care of an elder with dementia is taxing enough without family that isn't involved in the day to day caregiving coming in and slinging criticism and judgment. Not saying you are but, your posts don't indicate that you are hands on caring and you do say nobody wants to go to Lisa's to visit because of drama.

If your mom is truly in danger, call 911 and get her removed, otherwise, tread carefully, for your moms sake. She needs you all to consider what is the best for her in reality, not her demented reality.

Copied from another post by Sabrina:

My niece and her mother (my younger sister) have made it impossible for my other two siblings and me to see my mom. They have had so many excuses. In the past, every time we wanted to come together, Lisa created chaos and erratic behavior in front of my Mom, which is why we (family members and friends) don't want to go over to Lisa's house

Your mother suffers from dementia. Therefore, you cannot rely on what she says as being the absolute truth.

If you want to prove your sister is abusing her, you'd have to HAVE some actual evidence of such abuse and then start building a case against her. You cannot go on "feelings" or hunches alone.

That your sister who holds POA for mom is not giving you medical info or allowing you to see her all the time does not constitute "abuse". Your sister is providing the hands on caregiving for mom which is not an easy task so there may be more to this situation than you are aware of.

Your best bet is to try and speak with your sister about how mom is doing and ask her if she needs any help from you. Maybe then she will open up a bit and let you in.

Otherwise, find an elder care attorney to speak with about all of this. Most of them offer a free consultation up front.