harristad Asked July 2018
How can I move my bedridden mother from Texas to NJ?
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My mom was in a nursing home but now she is at home at our family house and my brother is caring for her. She is bedridden and an amputee due to vascular problems. I want to move her to NJ but since she is incontinent, 250 lbs, and cannot walk. It would be difficult to get a flight with her because the only way we can put her in a chair or seat is with a hoyer lift. She is not on any medication so I would not need medical assistance on the trip to NJ. But if I drove her to NJ, I guess I would have to stop at hospitals on the 18-hour drive to have them change her underwear. What would you suggest I do to get her to NJ? My brother actually lives in Ohio and is caring for her until we can work out her moving in with me.
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And say you drag your mother across country and you stop at hospitals to have her pants changed, the staff is not going to just change her and send you on your way. They'll take vitals, do an exam, discuss this trip, and in general make sure she's ok. You will spend hours and hours in ER waiting rooms along side your mom. A bed-ridden woman slumped in the waiting room of emergency rooms across the country to get her Depends changed. Staff at a hospital may not think taking your mom to NJ is a good idea. They could call the authorities.
It occured to me that you could stop at a hotel/motel every few hours to let your mom rest and to change her pants but since she's bed-ridden how do you get her into the hotel? How do you get her in and out of the car? In my opinion this trip is putting your mom's life at risk and will make for an absolutely grueling, nightmarish experience for your mom. There are a thousand things that could go wrong.
I dread to think how much it would cost; but by the time you add up your own travel costs (there and back again), the stress, and the risk of your mother's being transported by even willing amateurs, it may be worth every penny.