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She has changed so much in three weeks time. The nursing home have boxed all the residents belongings and they have nothing to do in their rooms. They are sitting there wasting away. Depressed, lonely, confused and sad.
I'm angry, frustrated, sad, feeling extreme guilt and can't take care of Mom at home. I feel the nursing home could be doing a better job with the mental status of these residents.

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When this all started lockdown was only suppose to be maybe 2 weeks, then it went to a month, then...where we are now. Our NHs are open for outside visits and limited visitors. But the townships hit hardest by the COVID are those with the Nursing Homes and ALs.

I am so tired of the whole thing. I do not want to play teacher again to a 7 year old. I don't want to hear about the violence that wearing a mask is causing. People going nuts because they are asked to wear a mask. No, I don't like them either. So, I get in and get out of stores and don't go if I don't need to.

I don't know what the NHs could do to better the lives of residents. They don't have enough staff to go to each room and keep them entertained. Its what it is and the elderly are the most vulnerable. My friend was sent to the hospital for mental problems associated with being in lockdown in her NH, she is 71 with her mind. I was able to send her flowers that she was very excited about. I would love to visit but the NHs and where they are located are hotspots. For me, so far so good so I don't want to jeopardize myself and DH. We r in our early 70s. So, I will just continue to send cards and occasionally some flowers.
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Where I am from, the Nursing Facilities will let the residents have visitors outside. Everyone has to wear a mask.

I am like you though. They need to come up with a solution. There is a way to handle this.
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haileybug Aug 2020
Also, if the NH will allow, send your mom some little gifts/gestures that she may like that would brighten her spirits.

Mail them or hand deliver, whatever works best.
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It's that whole quantity vs quality of life thing and unfortunately fear of the repercussions of even one or two cases in a facility has governments, management and even staff running scared.
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There are no winners with Covid, we all lose.
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ask her dr to determine if she has UTI, PRESSURE SORES, perhaps, with these "visits" you will be allowed to attend, tell doc you are concerned about the physical condition of mom and you want her evaluated, and you want to be there for doctor appt. perhaps you can visit her with this situation
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I'm so sorry.

One of the hardest issues at the moment is that nursing homes and all facilities are not being rated on the usual points such as quality of care and quality of life - it's ALL about how many residents they've lost to Covid. So they're taking every step they can think of to keep the virus out or, if the worse comes to the worst, to contain it if it gets into the facility; and not all of those steps make complete sense.

The degree of stress for all concerned is horrendous; and the impact of the measures taken on older people, although obvious, is extremely hard to quantify. This is just a dreadful time either to be dependent on residential care, or to love someone who is.

Are you in touch with relatives/representatives of other residents in this NH? If I were in your shoes, I'd be thinking of forming a lobbying group with the aim of working *with* (i.e. not fighting) the home's management.
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