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Turns out she had a UTI and an infection in two of her toes, spent 3 days in hospital. Before the hospital she wouldn't eat hardly anything and just slept in her chair and didn't want to go anywhere. But in the hospital she was doing good My dad took her home and now 2 days later she is right back at square one! In the recliner not eating and whenever we try to stand her up her legs are not working properly and she either falls getting the walker or if we're close enough to her recliner she will try to sit and ends up sliding out of it! She is a large woman and me, my brother and dad try to get her up. But sometimes she is not cooperating. And paramedics have to be called. She was going to be sent to physical therapy in the hospital but he brought her home. And I'm at my wits end trying to care for her.

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Talk to hospital discharge planner and lay out the situation clearly.  Dad may be basically telling them that you will be there to take care of anything.  I would correct this misunderstanding asap. Don't mince words here.  Make your boundaries very clear to Dad.  Then if he goes ahead, gets mom into a situation where she is not being adequately cared for, call APS on him for neglect.  Sounds heartless, but you have to protect your mom!
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Talk to an elder care lawyer
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Who has her DPOA? Sounds like your father is not thinking clearly. The man who lives across the street from me was doing the same thing, the social worker called APS and that ended that. She is now in LTC where she belongs.
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Trishao68 Feb 9, 2020
Thank you. I would guess that he has her dpoa since I have not found it in any of the paperwork so far. I'll have to figure out how to get one myself
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Be firm with Dad that if she doesn't get the therapy, you are not going to be a substitute for her. It's too difficult. Tell your brother too, to not rescue, so to speak. If you are there, dad figures mom doesn't need anyone else.
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MargaretMcKen Feb 9, 2020
Yes, don't enable 'fake independence'.
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