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My 91 year old father lives with me now due to severe dementia. I have tried all kinds of things to keep his bed dry but every morning I must strip everything and wash it. He has a hospital bed and I use multiple washable and disposable pads. When I’ve tried to wear a diaper on him he takes it off in the night and I find it thrown on the floor, if he leaves it on it’s so full it’s overflowed. He is unable to get up alone and go to the bathroom or a commode since he would be getting up 20 times in a night and his strength and balance are very poor. It’s an unnatural feeling for him to simply let it go in a diaper so I got him a urinal with a bag attached like a cath bag. It’s about a quart full each morning but the bed is also sopping wet. The doctor’s only advice was to restrict liquids but that has not helped and he does not understand why he’s not allowed to have water when he wants it. Seems cruel, especially in warm weather. He is unable to learn new skills or remember to even look at a note I’ve written. He has no idea what’s causing it but I suspect he wets while he’s asleep part of the time and uses the urinal part of the time. Anyone had a problem like this?

Dizzerth,

I would immediately buy the condom catheters if you think the doctor's office will not prescribe it for him. They should though because he is incontinent. If your dad will not pull it off then you will wake up with dry sheets at least 90% of the time and he won't get bed sores and ulcers from the damp urine piercing his skin. My dad had a hip fracture in 2014 and ever since then he lost his ability to ambulate. He was able to get the urinal through out the night and relieve himself. But in 2017 he lost use of his left arm. We would change him in the morning but he was usually soaking wet and then came bed sores. He got so depressed it affected his appetite because his bottom sores were not healing. Whomever stayed the night then had to start getting up 3-5 times to place the urinal and wait until he finished peeing. It felt as if we were doing bottle feedings with newborns. Condom catheters have been a life saver for us. After much research we came across this as an option and his doctor said matter of factly, they would be a good idea after I asked about them. Please get them for your loved one. If they are not approved you can still buy them without a prescription and just attach the urine bag to the end of the condom catheter. Find the right size. We use Coloplast with my dad and they are very sticky so they stay in place well the majority of the time. We get to sleep through the night just occasionally repositioning him.... The cost of these catheters may be less than a dollar a day and the piece of mind of sleeping through the night and not having to wash urine sheets would be more than well worth the price. Tell your doctor about his incontinence and I would think it will get covered. Good Luck!!!
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Reply to HoustonPat
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I had my husband s pants altered with Velcro on the fly so he can use urinal easier. He's in a wheelchair. Not foolproof, but helps a little.
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Reply to Littledreamer
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I don't think that he has to be completely bedridden to get a catheter. My dads roommate is mobile and active and he got one because he was constantly wet and having skin breakdown.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Dizzerth Sep 13, 2019
He has his Medicare through Kaiser and his doctor always says his social worker can handle this and then the social worker says this or that needs the doctor’s approval. His doctor flat out said he wouldn’t do a catheter because the chances of infection are too high. They haven’t been at all helpful.
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Earlier I answered a post about a non-leaking adult diaper - which is as likely as coming across a herd of unicorns, in my opinion.

My adult son has severe autism and functions at about a 2-3yr old level. I use to call him The Pee Houdini. Rainman could soak his pajamas, sheets, blanket, comforter, sometimes his pillow and yet the nighttime diaper would be bone dry! It was beyond frustrating.

My son is much better these days - KNOCKING WOOD - I’m almost afraid to write this, least I jinx it!!! I think a large part is the result of a technique called Trip Training which is frequently used with kiddos like my son - but which unfortunately, I do not think will work for you. Also my hubby leaves for work before the sun is up - so at roughly 4am he gets Rainman up and takes him to the bathroom. The other thing I do is no liquids after 6pm. Rainman accepts that usually but I agree that is harder in your situation.

Another post asks about diuretics. I’ll ask specifically about the Congestive Heart Failure prescription Lasix. My father HATED it cause it had him up peeing all night. Eventually, my father accepted a bedside urinal as stairs were involved to get to the bathroom. But eventually the lack of sleep got to him and he started playing fast and loose with his medication - taking it all at once in the morning or not taking it at all, which lead to even worse problems than having to pee all night!

Anyhoo - I realize I’ve probably not been any help - sorry. But I did want to let you know that I feel for what you’re going through and to say - eventually, this too shall pass.
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Reply to Rainmom
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Dizzerth Sep 12, 2019
His only med is a anti depressant. He’s not on any diuretics. He does have 1 cup of coffee upon arising which I cannot deny him either since it’s one of the few pleasures he has left.
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I am so sorry you and your father are going through this. A quart in the morning plus a soaked diaper is a lot of urine. Does he have frequent thirst? I find it more common to need to remind the elderly to drink fluids. These two could possibly warrant testing his blood glucose level just as a precaution.
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Reply to RNHere
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Dizzerth Sep 12, 2019
When he was in the hospital 6 months ago they did every test in the book. It was found he was not diabetic. He asks me to refill his water often. It’s a hospital 32 Oz jug. He drinks about 2 of those over the course of a 24 hour period as well as his morning coffee and an occasional glass of milk. Mostly all he wants to drink is water.
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We used the 3ft X5ft washable peapodMats. Helped me a lot.
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Reply to OldSailor
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Dizzerth Sep 12, 2019
Yes I have 3 different ones I put on the bed each night plus an extra absorbent disposable pad. Every night his T-shirt is soaked with pee and the pads are all wet and it’s soaked through the top sheet and blankets and oftentimes the quilt on top!
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What about figuring out how to get the diaper between him and the urinal, catching any spills or misses?

Just trying to think about how to keep him dry.

I used to cry when I had to do 5 loads of laundry on top of everything else I had to do that day.

The incontinence was my deal breaker. I just couldn't deal with a 300# man that needed that level of care.

Good luck. I know how much that sucks.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Dizzerth Sep 12, 2019
Yes I have tried diapers (even putting a huge one with tabs on him I had a leftover from my husbands hospice time) and keeping it loose so he could still use the urinal but he takes it off and flings it to the middle of the floor in the middle of the night. If I wear a pull-up on him and he doesn’t pull it off, I’ve seen in the morning he’s let his thing hang out all night instead of tucking it back in so it defeats the purpose. The dementia keeps him from remembering instructions so he just does whatever. I’d rather be able to sleep and have to wash sheets than get up all night changing diapers and checking on him I guess . In my mind the only solution is a catheter but I’m sure the doctor would not got for that unless he’s totally bedridden.
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Have you tried something called a condom catheter?
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Reply to Silverspring
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Is he on a diuretic, and if so is he taking it in the morning?
Maybe getting up to use a bedside commode might work better than the urinal (which he is likely trying to use while lying in bed), combined with a good pull up brief.
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Reply to cwillie
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I have tried a urinal with a larger opening and I’ve tried overnight diapers. I think he is spilling the urinal back onto himself possibly so I got one with a smaller opening but they didn’t help either. It has a bag attached so it won’t collect. I’ve tried overnight diapers but he cannot remember to just let it go into the diaper. When I took the urinal away and told him to go in the diaper he kept getting up and trying to walk down the hall to the bathroom. I had to get up all night when I’d hear the noise on the monitor and he peed so much everything was wet anyway including a trail of pee on the floor. I didn't get any sleep at all with that. So I tried a compromise and gave him the urinal and a diaper but he either pulls it off or I find he’s left his penis out of it all night and the bed is just as wet. I’ve tried notes and signboards but he’s just too daft to even look at it or remember to look. There is no way he can remember any kind of instructions. I think the only solution is a catheter but of course the doctor won’t go for that.
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Reply to Dizzerth
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My dad made a wet mess trying to use the urinal. He could possibly be missing more then he is hitting, do you have a way to check?

If this is the problem I would check out one made for women, more room to get it right.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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I suggest you try one of the premium overnight products, you could also add a booster pad. Everyone has a different opinion about their favourites, I'll include a couple of links so you can see what is available

https://www.alzstore.com/adult-incontinence-products-s/1822.htm

https://thoroughlyreviewed.com/home-kitchen/adult-diaper-review/

https://www.llmedico.com/blog/best-overnight-adult-diapers/
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Dizzerth Sep 11, 2019
Thank you for the information
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