How can I keep Dad from missing the toilet bowl and hitting between the bowl and the seat? He's not incontinent, just has horrible aim.

The only thing that helped us during the day when he had to use the restroom was being the potty police. As soon as he would get up out of the wheelchair, we had to insist he sit on the potty. He would say he could stand and we would say but you have to sit. After helping us clean up a few times, with us insisting, he finally started sitting down.

Some days, he would still try to sneak saying I got it from here you can go on out and give me some privacy. We would say we will turn our head but not leave out until you've sat down.

You can try a raised toilet seat. I got one that raised the level of the toilet 6-8 inches and has rails on both sides to hold onto for balance.

My mom kept missing the toilet because she didn't sit down all the way before peeing and bowel movements. Having the raised seat and hand rails really helped. She didn't want it at first, but she called me twice to tell me that she is really glad to have it now.

Go online to smartpeepee.com. This gadget works. The only thing once a week you need to clean or it will smell. It's a great option and he might have fun. I also place blue toilet bowl cleaner in toilet tank. People with dementia have a hard time when everything is white. They see bright colors better. I bought XO for the smell of urine.

You wrote on your profile "I am caring for my father Dad, who is 77 years old, living at home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, and depression." Your dad has Alzheimer's and that changes everything because his brain is broken.

Next time he goes to the toilet, go in there with him and tell him "Dad, I need you to sit down and pee." If he refuses, hand him a urinal and tell him the doctor wants him to measure his urine output. I too would get fed up with cleaning up pee all day.

Hey! I must be that 1 guy out of 3,000. Maybe I was taught differently. If I should miss, I clean up. Haven’t had to in years.

If I’m having health issues, I can sit down. Where does it say a man loses his man card if he sits to pee? Besides, is someone else in the bathroom with this guy that will go tell his buddies he sat to pee?

OK, that’s my rant for the day.

Please know I’m not criticizing those with actual problems. I may end up in the same situation myself some day. My heart goes out to theses folks and their caregivers.

hugs!!

i hope you find good solutions.

is your father’s eyesight bad? that’s 1 reason he misses?

if it’s at all possible (his eyesight/mobility is ok), let him clean up the problem several times a day.

so long as people have no consequences for themselves, they don’t care so much (i.e. you’re the one with the consequences; you’re cleaning up; he refuses to sit down).

hug!!

different topic:
i’ve been helping my LOs. they pretty much don’t feel any of the consequences, because i clean up the problems for them.

i must change.
i must do less.
it’s destroying my life, and they don’t really see any consequences of their actions, because the consequences land on me.

hugs to you chellae, and everyone.

courage!!

Next time you clean the toilet get all the water out of the bowl. Dry off a spot at the bottom of the bowl, just above the waterline. Draw a bullseye circle with a Sharpie Marker. It will give him a spot to aim for.
Yes you will have a mark on your toilet, probably for a very long time. But if it helps isn't that worth it?
there are "splash guards" that I have seen used when you train little boys. Some of them protect the front but search a bit more and you will find others that go to the back of the toilet. One I saw was called a "splatter guard" Most of these are white so should blend it and not be quite as noticeable as a shiny piece of plastic wrap.

Not sure what you can do, but I trained my boys that a toilet is not a urinal, so they have to sit down -- period. They're in their 20s now, and they know never to stand up in my house. I don't care what they do in theirs, but I don't have to clean their homes.

No one should have to clean up after a man with bad aim. It also runs down the tide of the toilet and gets into the subfloor. That's not a small issue. Tell him it's disgusting and not your job to clean up after him.

Relax, breathe deep, count to 10 s l o w l y . . . This is a MAN/Guy thing. The ones that DON'T miss the toilet bowl are RARE! . . . like 1 in 3,000! There's no fixing it either.

Try limiting how many times a day you clean it. Can you make yourself okay with only cleaning twice a day? Say . . . midday and after dad goes to bed? Or, you might think of what 2 times of the day you'd rather clean it.

This won't solve the problem, men are men. This is to cut down on your stress level.

Good Luck with this mind-boggler!