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My parents had a caregiver for more than 10 years and she was like a daughter for them, and they were very attached to her, now she is moving to another town. I'm afraid they won't accept easily the new caregiver I have for them. My father has moderate dementia and mother has cancer and memory loss too. Mother is a difficult person, distrustful, selfish and doesn't accept very well someone elses help in the house, even though she needs help even for geting dressed.

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Is there any way you could have the beloved caregiver bring her as her friend and introduce her that way? Even have them work together for one visit so that the beloved caregiver could show them how she does things? That would give them the idea that the new caregiver is like their beloved caregiver. Just a thought. You've had some other good ideas as well.
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Excellent Paula44...I would like to add one thing....I took a picture of the new person with my phone, printed it out and left her picture around the house in MIL's view. There was still a transition period but at least she was familiar to MIL.
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You may consider letting present caregiver handle it
all. If she has a 10 year relationship. She may do better
than you, no offense intended, but they respect her and
her decision. She could explain she has to move but will
personally find a replacement. They may be more accepting
of the new person coming as her friend. It would be twice the
pay for a short time to work together. After 10 years she knows
a lot about them, wants and needs and likes. It may be worth
the extra money for the parents happiness. If they see her showing the new person what to do it may help. Good luck.
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Sandra & blainy both suggest well about change over - how about after a few visits the regular one leave an hour early then next time leave 2 hours early then next time arrive an hour later & still leave early etc until she receeds right into background - pay the old one for full day & that will be money well spent to make a smooth transition -

I'm guessing that she probably is fond of your parents too & will feel better within herself knowing that they are in good hands

If they are both amenable have the regular one give a big hug to new one in front of them both with a 'thank you' said at that time as this might help move her 'aura' to the new one & will show that there is no hard feelings with the switch - mom & dad might then see the new one as an extension on the old one which is what you are really trying to do
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Could you introduce her during the first visit as a friendly visitor, not even mentioning the caregiving issue? Perhaps just try to have a low key, friendly visit, as if she was just stopping by to get acquainted?

Perhaps you could buy something your parents like and have the new caregiver give it to them...something small, or even a bouquet of artificial flowers, so they don't have the obligation to change the water in a vase.

Or, bring special food. donuts and cider for fall? If you can link the first visit to something very positive, they might not remember her specifically but they might link with the event and the good thoughts afterward, if this is possible.

Just introduce her as a friendly visitor; Meals on Wheels and the VA provide these kinds of social visits, according to what I've read.

I've had some issues with just convincing my father to accept in home help. It wasn't until this last post-hospital and rehab visit that he recognized he needed some help. Then the issue was and still is finding a qualified, reputable agency.
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Paula, it won't be easy finding a 10 year caregiving replacement as no one will be quite right in your parent's mind, especially your Mom. My Mom would turn Mary Poppins or Hazel away from the door.

My Dad was easy going as long as the caregiver and he had enough in common to talk about. I had the Agency keep sending out different caregivers until Dad found the right match, and then it was smooth sailing [my Mom passed by then].

GardenArtist, above, had some really great ideas :)
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If their favorite caregiver is still working for them...have the new caregiver be at the house "assisting" the favorite caregiver, laughing and talking like they are good friends..then gradually let the new caregiver spend more time each day until she is familiar enough they can adjust....and keep an eye on that new caregiver to make sure she is as good to them as the favorite was. Good Luck...takes time to build trust...
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Thank you all for your posts. Actually I have both caregivers at home, we are in a transition period. But soon my parents will be left with the new caregiver. She cooks very well, maybe that could be a good start, a good meal. I know it will take time for them to adjust and feel comfortable with her. I worry most about help in dressing and having a bath. How will they react?
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Thank you all for your suggestions, many of them have worked wonderfuly. I suppose time will do the rest. I just hope they make a team soon, as they get to know each other and get closer with this new caregiver.
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