Has your mother not lived here very long? Maybe she's still adjusting to where things "live" - goodness knows, I've been in my new house for nearly two years and I've still not got to grips with which drawer I put the rolling pin in.
Discreetly culling possessions (only with your mother's permission, of course) might make it easier for her to spot where things have got to, too.
Thanks for all the lovely support and ideas. My Mom is doing better now. At least today. She seems to have accepted that something was stolen and part of it is due to her carelessness. I have found that it is a bit of both. Most of the things are imagined; however, some of her nicest silver jewelry is really gone (2 necklaces and several pairs of earrings). One has much sentimental value in the family. I have not been able to find it. The manager of the retirement community wants to push back on Mom a little, as it reflects poorly on the community if things are know to be stolen. It is 16 floors and cleaning people come in once a week. Unfortunately my Mom is very trusting, and would not think she had to be there since they were only there 30 minutes. She has never been prejudiced, in fact, quite the opposite. But she began to talk about things being missing some time after a new cleaner came. Things like pots and pans, glasses, mixing bowls. She doesn't cook much, so she might have given these things away. I found some of them. She also claimed a page of checks was missing and put stop payments on them. Later I found the page in a drawer. When I pointed this out, she said the cleaner did this to confuse her. I had some moments of anger with her yesterday because I get so frustrated. But I mostly try to be understanding and gentle, because this is her reality. Anyway, thanks for listening. I am the only daughter left and I don't want to bother my brothers all the time. They are younger and busy with jobs and children.
Aprilmom, on another thought, may I ask if your Grandmother [Mom's Mom] had any bias of people who weren't exactly like her in race, ethic background or religion?
Oh my gosh, my Mom's parents were so very bias, thus my Mom learned to feel the same way. Mom didn't even like doctors who were women.
My Dad lived in Independent Living and he was more than happy to have housekeeping come in to clean up and do linen service. Nothing ever was taken. Doubt many people had interest in 70 year old physics books and old books about trains :P
The OP's profile states that her mother's main difficulty is depression. The mother is in independent living.
Aprilmom, what items were listed on the complaint your mother made to the police? When you say you don't think anything is missing, have you been able to locate the articles your mother is worried about? Or is she not being that specific?
And is this one individual in particular that your mother seems to have taken against? Any reason you can think of why else she might have done, apart from suspicions of theft?
April, I believe there are times when a love one tells relatives that things are happening [such as personal things are missing] so that the family would feel sorry for the love one and move them back to their previous home.
I know its a struggle. I'm not sure if your mom has dementia and maybe this leads her to think the maid is stealing. Maybe check with her doctor and nurse and see if this might be a side effect of her medication.
I know at my grandmother's nursing home they tended to put a label on everything. And really encouraged people not to have valuables in the room. I don't know if labeling items would help your mom.
Discreetly culling possessions (only with your mother's permission, of course) might make it easier for her to spot where things have got to, too.
Oh my gosh, my Mom's parents were so very bias, thus my Mom learned to feel the same way. Mom didn't even like doctors who were women.
My Dad lived in Independent Living and he was more than happy to have housekeeping come in to clean up and do linen service. Nothing ever was taken. Doubt many people had interest in 70 year old physics books and old books about trains :P
Aprilmom, what items were listed on the complaint your mother made to the police? When you say you don't think anything is missing, have you been able to locate the articles your mother is worried about? Or is she not being that specific?
And is this one individual in particular that your mother seems to have taken against? Any reason you can think of why else she might have done, apart from suspicions of theft?
I did come across this article from Aging Care that would be helpful for this situation: https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-handle-alzheimers-disease-lying-144204.htm
I know its a struggle. I'm not sure if your mom has dementia and maybe this leads her to think the maid is stealing. Maybe check with her doctor and nurse and see if this might be a side effect of her medication.
I know at my grandmother's nursing home they tended to put a label on everything. And really encouraged people not to have valuables in the room. I don't know if labeling items would help your mom.