My mom fell and broke her hip / thigh joint. She was operated on. Normally she was active and joyful. She would forgot some recent events but otherwise her brain was good.
After the hospital she has become very stubborn to us or the nurse we hired helping her. She also sent the therapist away. Now my sister and I alternate moving her. The nurse just sits there and is not allowed to come anywhere near her. Both my sister and I have back pains now from carrying her because she struggles back a lot every time we approach her to help her.
Anyone has any suggestions? Please we are desperate. Thank you
She should be working with a therapist to teach her to get up and walk; or else she will be in wheelchair forever. If she did not go to rehab for therapy, she should qualify for therapy at home at least initially. My MIL had severe dementia when she broke her hip and she could never figure out how to use walker so she had to be in wheelchair.
Personality change is common after something like this type of fracture, but also, you might consider having her checked for UTI. In the elderly, they often don't have symptoms of burning or urgency but they have personality changes.
and “hold up.”
i have had to relinquish much of my “cave” due to family members aging and/or having health problems.
I dread the day when strangers potentially come for me.
Can you give your mother a real or imaginary “safe place” of some kind?
I read about a mother of many kids who was able to make a safe place by pulling her apron over her head. Every one knew to leave her alone.
Maybe something like that would help your mom tolerate the nurses and therapists etc for a period of time . Her code to be left alone when the “ help” overwhelms her ?
Did Mom go to rehab? If not, why not? Does Mom live with you?
If you Mom currently will not allow the participation of the nurse sit with Mom, Sis, Nurse and yourself and tell her "Mom, we can't do this anymore. Our backs are going out. If that happens you will be in care in one second. And Mom, do understand, if you cannot cooperate with a nurse sent to help you, then you will need to go to rehab, snf or other placement to get care, because we can't do it anymore. We understand you are hurting, exhausted and in fear over all this, likely depressed as well. We are sorry about that. And if you have to move into care we will grieve that, but there is honestly nothing we can do about these facts."
Protect yourselves. No one will do it for you.
Visit, but don't help. If mom needs re-positioning, you step away and tell her that your doctor has ordered you to not do any more lifting.
Why would you and your sister risk life-altering injury to care for your mother when there is a nurse at her bedside?
Her wants do not outweigh your NEEDS.