He constantly goes through my phone following me stalking me constantly checks the cameras pops up back home when he should be at work creeping around the house to the back door trying to catch ( no one) some person he thinks I’m having a affair with checking to make sure of certain underwear to wear to work putting camera in the middle of the living to see if I’m cheating drives up the street to leave his car and walks back to catch me (doing nothing) I’m constantly under surveillance in my own home can’t leave or he will say I meeting someone I’m a prisoner how do you get this man to go get checked because he doesn’t believe in Doctors he wants me to take a Lie detector test okay I’m cool with that because I’m not lying then he turns around and says no you don’t need to take it he said I have all information I need or why should I waist money and I know you cheated it’s. back and forth and there are days he’s calm ( before the storm) and normal he’s been watching all these utube videos about how to catch a cheating wife how to go through my phone and look for signs of cheating it’s awful all day every day I have to deal with this situation I love my husband to death he’s a good man but this is changing he never cursed at me and talk to me the way he’s doing and I keep saying to myself it’s not him he needs help but he refuses to go I need help please!!
You need to somehow get your husband to an ER and persuade them that his behavior is dangerous so that they can keep him for a psychiatric evaluation. When he gets accusatory, call 911 and tell them this is ongoing behavior that is escalating and that you don't feel safe.
This must be a horrible thing to watch, someone you care about and trust, devolving like this because his brain is malfunctioning. I'm very sorry.
Key Characteristics
Delusion of Infidelity: An unshakable conviction that a partner is cheating, despite no evidence.
Obsessive Thoughts: Constant preoccupation with the partner's fidelity.
Controlling Behaviors: Monitoring partner's activities, isolating them, excessive questioning.
Aggression & Violence: Risk of harming the partner, oneself, or others.
Associated Conditions: Often appears with alcoholism, Parkinson's disease, schizophrenia, or delusional disorder.
Causes & Triggers
Alcoholism: Chronic alcohol abuse is a common link, damaging the brain.
Neurological Issues: Brain injuries, strokes, or certain medications (like dopaminergic agonists for Parkinson's).
Psychiatric Disorders: Can be a symptom of delusional disorder or other psychoses.
Trauma: Possible roots in unstable childhood relationships.
Treatment
Pharmacotherapy: Antipsychotics and SSRIs (serotonin reuptake inhibitors).
Psychotherapy: Cognitive-analytic therapy to address underlying issues.
Addressing Root Cause: Treating alcoholism, addiction, or underlying mental illness.
Significance
It's a dangerous condition with high risk for domestic violence and homicide.
It's considered a severe form of pathological jealousy, sometimes called Othello psychosis.
See the line where it says "It's a dangerous condition with high risk for domestic violence and homicide?"
If DH has been diagnosed with Parkinson's already, call his doctor immediately to inform him or her of this update in behavior. Ask about meds to calm him down, and if DH refuses, get out of the house and see a lawyer about splitting your assets and divorcing this man. Before he kills you. Take this seriously.
Dementia IS part of PD so I don't know why this syndrome would not be related. Furthermore, some PD medications can cause this Othello Syndrome!
Good luck to you.
My father had an entirely different condition (bvFTD) but it did involve dangerous and difficult obsessions that drove my mother up the wall, like nervous-breakdown level. A few of these were inappropriate and romantic /sexual. This actually caused him to have to retire very suddenly or else he would have been fired. (In his case, other types of obsessions were more problematic). Meds helped. They didn’t eliminate the obsessions, but they dulled them to the point that he was more manageable.
good luck!
Sorry, if he is well enough to work then he is too well to be doing this stuff, and he needs either to be assessed completely or you need to leave him.
I have ZERO idea if this is paranoia, mental illness or Parkinson's but to be frank I doubt it is the latter.
If this was happening to me while I was living with someone well enough to hold down a job I would leave him at once until he agreed to a thorough assessment by a neuro-psyc MD, because someone with this level of outrageous paranoia who spends the rest of his time shouting and yelling and swearing at you is ANYTHING BUT a "good man".
Could I kindly ask you to use punctuation in your post? It would make it easier to read. It is not a criticism to be mean, perhaps you are using a voice to text, in which case you can actually say "comma" and "period" as you speak into the mic. I understood you but it was hard to read. It helps if you can break up a paragraph as well.
In any event, this behavior is escalating by your description and I'm sorry to say it is likely he will get violent at some point. Maybe with you, or maybe with a delivery man. When he begins to act threateningly, you should call 911 (not in front of him if you can avoid it) and tell them that he is threatening you and yelling. Don't say anything about Othello or anything else, that's not considered an emergency.