What can I do to help my mom who is chemically-dependent, under treatment for depression, won’t leave the house, and will not follow any doctor’s orders?

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Her PCP will only continue to write Rx for her current meds. Her psychiatrist has dropped her since since she won't check into rehab. She does not take meds properly. She doesn't do anything around the house anymore (laundry, cooking). She has no appetite, says she's in chronic pain. Her memory is bad, she's lost 20lbs since Jan. She thinks her body is shutting down, yet when she has labs/checks done, there are no serious health issues. She has panic attacks if she needs to leave the house; she no longer has any meds this (e.g, atavan). Dad is primary caregiver and is not very good with meds (e.g., if she wakes up at night; he'll give her a second ambien). Her booze drinking is somewhat controlled (1-2 drinks/night) by dad too. When she drinks, she gets verbally abusive. Dad does not defend himself and he's showing the wear/tear. I think home care would be good; mom/dad won't consider it. Sis thinks mom would be even harder on dad if we tried this. Don't want to lost dad too. HELP!

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I have no answer but a similar issue with my father, He had a doctor appointment today with his psychiatrist but first refused to get out of bed then after a 15min break got him up to eat and thought he would have forgotten the argument and we might be able to get him to go. Well of all the things to remember he gos into his rant and gets quite agitated again and refuses to go. We tried all kinds of tricks I tried to reason with him explaining it and eventually telling him if he kept up this behavior he would end up in a nursing home. I know that is wrong but my mother is alone with him and not real good with anything. She is trying but I live on the other side of the country and came home to get him to these appointments. My mom wants him at home but I don't think that is going to work for much longer. He would sleep for days at a time, it's a fight to get him up to eat something. At my wits end and I have only had to deal with it for a week so I am sure she can't cope with it for much longer.
This is a terrible disease.. pray I don't get it and if I do I am glad Dr Kevorkian is out of jail ..
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