I am terribly worried about my husband. His mother went from "normal" to moderate dementia in just 8 months. He seemed to be dealing with it quite well until we finally got a diagnosis a few weeks ago. He is normally a very strong man, with this hard outer shell that kind of abrasive, but he's sweet on the inside. I have rarely seen him cry in our 28 years of marriage. Ever since the diagnosis he's been weepy, and shaking. He wakes up at 3AM crying and shivering and continues through the day very sad. Everything makes him cry now.
What puzzles me is he is not that close to his mother. He loves her but it has always been a love hate relationship. She is the type of person that I call a "life sucker". She has an uncanny ability to suck you dry of your time, your money, and your happiness. I know it sounds harsh but she has always been lazy, a hoarder, and a slob. She has never been able to keep a job and has been fired from every job she ever had. She has been totally dependent on him and myself since we were teenagers. She lived with us for six years, then when her mother died and left her money she bought a home and moved out on her own but she blew through the money, would not work, took out a line of credit on the house, used all that then turned to us for $2500 a month for the next 8 years! We finally cut her off in 2008. She and her husband barely scraped by for the next 4 years until he died in 2012. By this time she had just turned 62 and was receiving Social security. She was so out of shape that she could not even walk to the mail box (type 2 diabetes, and obese). We had no choice but to move her to FL to live just 15 minutes from us in a 55+ apartment. It wasn't even a month before she started asking for money again. We realized in 2014 that she was lying to us about how much her bills were and using the extra money we gave her to shop on QVC (over $4000 in a year). We found out that she was also getting money from her brother and her friends were still sending her "widow money". Fast forward to 2015... She was hospitalized in May after a collapse of some sort. We are still not sure if it was a diabetic coma, prescription overdose or a seizure but she has progressively gotten worse over the last eight months.
I just don't know how to handle this overemotional state he's in. I don't understand why he's so torn up all of a sudden. I understand that part of it is the huge responsibility we are now faced with but this seems extreme for such a strong man.
Sorry for the rant! As you can probably tell, she's not my favorite person and I'm having a very hard time with all this as I am her primary caregiver now. I just feel the weight of the world on me now that he has broken down. I need him back to normal.