How can I help my friend who had her parent's move in with her?

Don't u love it. They leave the money to the person who does nothing. I would tell Dad that I took more on than I can handle. That he needs to find a place that will except both him and her mother. If he gets mad oh well, she can't be taken out of the will. I know it shouldn't be the money but to leave it to the child that doesn't have any responsibility for their care. I think this brother has been always favored and maybe she is trying to show her parents she is there too.

It sounds like Dad may also have issues with decision making. Encourage your friend to get mom properly placed, with a court order if necessary. Dad may settle down after that, or the court evaluator may recommend placement for him as well.

Just be there for her.

Sounds like Chauvenism is at work here too.... (son like father)... why do you think "mom" has become combative... I know, I'm assuming... I would do all I could to get the parents out of the friends' home and into some assisted living/nursing home situation. Your friend is being taken advantage of to no end. So very sad.

Wow! Tough position. Friend (mule 32023) tell your friend to get educated. Start with this website. She needs the DPOA for both parents to make those decisions that her mother can't and father won't. It's not easy!! If a sibling has that control, she can't change anything. Brother may inherit what's left, but she needs to know how she can be compensated for her efforts. A service contract or maybe guardianship is the answer. She needs to acknowledge this is a huge undertaking for just one parent. And her mother "left the building" some time ago. Very painful to not be recognized. If your friend does not realize these truths she will suffer and you as her friend can only listen and sympathize. The home cooked meals is a great idea. Sitting with the parents for short spells is also great, but your friend needs to learn as much as possible as soon as possible before the trouble gets worse. It's not easy and can be very emotionally painful. She MUST take care of herself first. And that's a hard concept. Dad's attitude about son's inheritance is old-school thinking. He expects his daughter to take care of them without arguments. He cannot emotionally handle putting his wife in a home. Nothings going to change there. Elderly people can only understand what they've always understood. Better to find a place for both of them together, or have professional help coming in the home of your friend. Hugs and Prayers to all concerned here.

The fact that you came here to share about your friend is lovely. Keep on caring! You are a good friend....

As others have said, this sounds like a toxic situation. I would advise you to limit your exposure, too! Find your limit and don't go over it, but bringing food and/or being with your friend once or twice a month I'm sure could be a lifesaver for her.

She probably needs a lot of listening. Again, if you get overwhelmed, protect yourself. It is best if she uses your sounding board skills to vent and move forward, not to let herself cling to an impossible situation. As gently as possible, make the suggestions above, maybe one at a time so she can hear -- when she is at her wit's end, she may be open to them after a bit of venting!

Again, I applaud you on being a good friend.